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having time to think and not liking those thoughts...

Sunday, January 18, 2009

okay. condensed version: we were supposed to get together today at the mongolian grill for a surprise party for my mom. (its her 2 year anniversary of quitting smoking) well my dad and bird dont like chinese or veggies, so after like 29 phone calls between the sisters and i, i was upset and frustrated. they finally decided to go to a buffet up north of here, about an hour and fifteen minutes away from me, much less for every one else. and last nite instead of today which made a TON of sense, since you know, they didnt just get a storm or anything.
i ended up crying and getting furious and gah. i cant even explain it. its a huge long story. so after sending a probably incomprehensible email to ms. lobrennan, i ended up eating like a thousand calories, even crying into the veggie soup i made as i stood over the pot with a spoon and ate it from there.

yeah. not so good.
when i finally made it up to the buffet, which was an awesome ride because the roads were definitely plowed and i didnt almost get into an accident about every two seconds, i waited for them. then we went inside and more chaos ensued, including my dad getting sick, my nephews being almost asleep, no french fries for bird, and an argument with the waitress that no, she didnt refill my cup before, and yes, i would like diet, and yes, i am sure i wasnt drinking regular soda a minute ago...

i dont even remember what i ate or how much. i mean, i remember what i ate--few choices for a vegetarian, but i dont remember how much. but a lot.

on the way home, i had a lot of time to think because i could only safely do about 30 miles an hour, and i admit, that was pushing it... about how to better deal with it next time.
i dont have this problem usually.. the emotional eating. if r and i get into an argument, i usually cant eat. it is something to do with my family that just pushes my buttons.

when i got home, i was even more stressed out from the drive back and once the roads were plowed, i ran into snow... that i just wanted to dive into the leftover pizza that was here that r. got while i was gone..
i didnt.
i had two cups of green tea and went to bed.

the good things?
after i ate like those thousand calories and before i met my family, i got in a 40 minute workout on the premise that they werent going to ruin my entire day.
i did only eat about 60 calories of the soup out of the pan before r. came upstairs and helped me freeze the soup.
i didnt eat the pizza last night and i made sure r. had it for lunch before i could get my hands on it.

today i was proud of myself for exercising..i got up late and was in the middle of a workout when r. came out at eight am!! so i stopped. later i went downstairs and worked out down there. i was planning on doing two miles of treadmill and strength training but i came upstairs and fell asleep on the couch.

so. live. learn.
i dont know. i dont get mad at my family often but something that really gets to me is that everything has to be more complicated than it needs to be, and there has to be a discussion about everything. i really need to learn how to communicate effectively and politely because yesterday i was not so polite.
i love my sisters but having them call about every five minutes with a different plan just gets to me.
next time, i will just have to take charge or tell them to call me when it is actually finalized.

and instead of turning to food next time, my hope is that i will turn to exercise first.
or a household chore.
maybe scrubbing something to release the tension.

the other good news is that despite all of that, i still weighed in today at 221.
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  • TEXX30
    I have only one thing to add....

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3409 days ago
  • ~*KIMMI*~
    My family ALWAYS makes things more complicated than they need to be. I love your plan of just saying "call me when you figure it out" and I usually do something along the same lines. Taking yourself out of the equation is the way to go. ***hug***
    3409 days ago
    Oh, drama. I'm the member of the family that everybody asks "so what are we going to do?" If I don't come up with the plan, it just doesn't happen. That is just as frustrating. I opted out of that a couple of years ago. It's easier to just take a step back and say, "Let me know when you have a plan" and hang up. It's tough, since your family can drive your crazy like no other.

    I hope that your day has gone well and that you are able to relax.

    3410 days ago
    Hey!! You had some great positives there! And I loved the sarcasm. Sorry ... I have a sarcasm bone nestled in very tight with the funny bone. They can't be separated.
    I am certain I've had a dealing with that VERY waitress before. That very same conversation! What difference does it make to her anyway? Isn't it part of the job description that the customer is always right? I've worked in food service before! LOL!

    And regarding family frustrations ... my brother's wife is the very best thing that has ever happened to our family. We used to behave much the same way. She got tired of it and started taking charge. Now we all just wait for Melody to tell us what we're going to be doing and it's all good! hehe ...

    I'm so glad you were able to see through the frustrations to the positives and I'd like to add GREAT JOB getting that exercise in ... and for a good weigh-in!!

    3410 days ago
    wow. drama. i'm so glad that you exercised anyway after all the frustration and eating. at least you did that and knew what caused it all. i think it helps to know the cause so you can avoid it in the future. you're still doing good tho! so, you can be happy that all your hard work before the rough day paid off ;) i'm sorry it was such a crappy time, but i'm proud of you for sticking it out and coming back to your healthy habits. I hope this week is a better one for you!
    3410 days ago
  • SUZY6281
    I am glad that you were able to calmly think about the "whys". I think that is the key to losing the weight and actually keeping it off. We all have to understand the "whys".

    I think you did a great job getting in exercise and even with the stressful situation going on around you, you were able to make some good choices. Believe me, I know how emotional eating can take over and the fact that you did not gain is awesome.

    Take some time and come up for a game plan for next time. Write it down and then refer to it when next time happens.

    3410 days ago
    Sorry to hear about the rough day. I hope that the communication lines between you and your sisters clear up. I know how frustrating it is to try to plan things and they are never set. My parents and brother were supposed to come down this weekend for my bro's 21st birthday and we were going to run around downtown and take him out...well after I took off work (which I can't afford to do), my mom tells me (last night) that they aren't going to make it. No one called to tell me either....I had to call and ask. Now I could have worked this next weekend, but hours are so tight at work, there is no way I will get them back... Anyway, family can get the stress worked up, can't they?

    I am VERY proud of you for working out and not letting it ruin your whole day, and for skipping on PIZZA! WOW...stronger than I am. Of course, I also went to the China Buffet last night and pigged out...go me! ha....

    Glad you made your trip safely, though. Take Care, Dee. It is a new week!
    3410 days ago
    You said it, live and learn. It's a good plan to develop some strategy's for those situations you know are stressful for you.
    I wish exercise was my go to destresser... it is the best possible one because it's great for dealing with stress and it's good for you. Friday was so stressful I went to food. Then I got really mad at myself. Sunday was a real bummer stress wise and I told myself I would not be eating like crazy... so instead... sigh I went shopping. HA, new haircut, and 4 new bras and underwear lol. I did feel better lol.
    Sigh, oh well.
    Good for you with the pizza and getting the work out in. No matter how stressful it gets you really seem to overall keep it together.
    3410 days ago
  • KIWI122
    I am sorry things got hectic like that with your family. It is good that you have a plan for the next time someone changes plans a million times. Avoiding that pizza was excellent--I am proud of you!! emoticon
    3410 days ago
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