okay. condensed version: we were supposed to get together today at the mongolian grill for a surprise party for my mom. (its her 2 year anniversary of quitting smoking) well my dad and bird dont like chinese or veggies, so after like 29 phone calls between the sisters and i, i was upset and frustrated. they finally decided to go to a buffet up north of here, about an hour and fifteen minutes away from me, much less for every one else. and last nite instead of today which made a TON of sense, since you know, they didnt just get a storm or anything.
i ended up crying and getting furious and gah. i cant even explain it. its a huge long story. so after sending a probably incomprehensible email to ms. lobrennan, i ended up eating like a thousand calories, even crying into the veggie soup i made as i stood over the pot with a spoon and ate it from there.
yeah. not so good.
when i finally made it up to the buffet, which was an awesome ride because the roads were definitely plowed and i didnt almost get into an accident about every two seconds, i waited for them. then we went inside and more chaos ensued, including my dad getting sick, my nephews being almost asleep, no french fries for bird, and an argument with the waitress that no, she didnt refill my cup before, and yes, i would like diet, and yes, i am sure i wasnt drinking regular soda a minute ago...
i dont even remember what i ate or how much. i mean, i remember what i ate--few choices for a vegetarian, but i dont remember how much. but a lot.
on the way home, i had a lot of time to think because i could only safely do about 30 miles an hour, and i admit, that was pushing it... about how to better deal with it next time.
i dont have this problem usually.. the emotional eating. if r and i get into an argument, i usually cant eat. it is something to do with my family that just pushes my buttons.
when i got home, i was even more stressed out from the drive back and once the roads were plowed, i ran into snow... that i just wanted to dive into the leftover pizza that was here that r. got while i was gone..
i had two cups of green tea and went to bed.
the good things?
after i ate like those thousand calories and before i met my family, i got in a 40 minute workout on the premise that they werent going to ruin my entire day.
i did only eat about 60 calories of the soup out of the pan before r. came upstairs and helped me freeze the soup.
i didnt eat the pizza last night and i made sure r. had it for lunch before i could get my hands on it.
today i was proud of myself for exercising..i got up late and was in the middle of a workout when r. came out at eight am!! so i stopped. later i went downstairs and worked out down there. i was planning on doing two miles of treadmill and strength training but i came upstairs and fell asleep on the couch.
so. live. learn.
i dont know. i dont get mad at my family often but something that really gets to me is that everything has to be more complicated than it needs to be, and there has to be a discussion about everything. i really need to learn how to communicate effectively and politely because yesterday i was not so polite.
i love my sisters but having them call about every five minutes with a different plan just gets to me.
next time, i will just have to take charge or tell them to call me when it is actually finalized.
and instead of turning to food next time, my hope is that i will turn to exercise first.
or a household chore.
maybe scrubbing something to release the tension.
the other good news is that despite all of that, i still weighed in today at 221.