Saturday, January 17, 2009
So i havent logged on in SUCH a long time! I mean i know i should be on here more often, but i just dont see how this is helping me. My mom says that she just loves this site, and that it helps her sooo much. But i just dont. i mean i like the site and everything, i just dont see how it's helping me. i Cant ever figure out how to input the stuff that i do end up doing on here so i feel like it's just kinda a mute point.
i mean i am eating better, and i am taking a yoga class this term, which i kinda like so far. Even though my foot makes it a little difficult. and my foot is kind of just pissing me off. I feel like it's this handicap that i shouldnt have any more. i did the surgery, i did the physical therapy, i did it all, so you'd think i wouldnt have the pain any more. BUT OH NO!!! it still hurts from time to time, i still cant sit certain ways, and i still cant cheer......well coach.......... and i feel like because it's all super sensitive and hurts sometimes, that it's making me hold back (which doesnt really make sense) and it makes me mad.
and i've gone from two jobs with school, to one job and school. but i've just hooked up with the local 4-H and so i'm going to be getting busy again.....now, dont get me wrong, i like to be busy. but at the same time, i dont want to get overly busy again, but i also hate not having anything to do for long periods of time.
I also feel like things would get better if i just get a life. which my mom likes to tell me that i'd feel better if i just get out there and meet new people. But i really dont like to go any where new by myself like that, and my friends aren't the best to count on right now. I dont really feel like i'm at the point in my life where i need to be out looking for new people and stuff like that.
and i dont know right now. I feel like i want to be out doing something, or something but at the same time i really really dont want to. idk.......i just want to curl up with a movie and re-read new moon and all the rest right now.......i like living in books.........it's nicer in there