AARJENWAR

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Why am I fat????

Friday, January 16, 2009

Wow what a straight to the point question...

Ok when I graduated high school I weighed 98 pounds. In my junior year of high school I was a size zero. That is when I found the love of my life. Well that was back in 1993.
Skip to 1996...
We got married in July of '96. I moved to FL to be with him while he finished school. That is when the weight started coming on. I was having some problems and I had gone to my gyno and she said that she thought I was having problems becuase I had been on the pill for a couple of years. Well after the pills got out of my system good I went back to her and she couldn't find nothing wrong with me.
Skip to 2001 (I think)...
This is the year I read an article in a magazine about PCOS (polycystic Ovary Syndrome). I told my DH that I had the signs that pointed to this. He of course thought I was crazy. WEll I blew it off, but then my best buddy read the same article and she said that it sounded like me too. I looked on the internet to find a doc that knew something about it but to no luck.
Skip to 2002 or 2003...
Me had moved to TN and a friend of mine had invitro done and she told me to go to her doc and have both of us checked out. And this doc was awesome. I told him about the article I had read and the problems that I had and he said he would check me out. After the tests came back he said that I did have PCOS. But my hubby was also a problem. I tell my hubby I have bad eggs and he has lazy sperm. We laugh about it.
Skip to present...
Looking back I feel bad that I can't have kids of my own. I know my PCOS has something to do with my weight, but I also feel depressed at times because I can't have kids of my own. Don't get me wrong I love the 4 kids that we have adopted, but at times I look at my DH and wonder about what if....what would he/she look like. Stuff like that.

I am trying to deal with my feelings so that I can shed some of my weight. It is a slow process but I am moving at a snails pace.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LORI*48
    I know how you must feel to not be able to have children of your own. But you have done a wonderful thing by taking in these 4 beautiful children and loving them and giving them a home. It is great that you are looking in to your feelings and trying to process them. Journal them and you will be able to make sense of all your feelings. But in the mean time just love those 4 beautiful angels!!
    3982 days ago
  • NYYANKEEFAN21
    you're children are so beautiful and so lucky to have you!!!! It takes a very special person to do that.
    "everything happens for a reason"
    I can tell you are a beautiful person-take one day at a time and keep up the good work!!!! emoticon
    3983 days ago
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