Hobbies, and Underwear (yes, really)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

So I have to apologize to my friend Delaine08 and anyone else whose inner ear got infected by Stand By Your Man after reading my blog. Yes, it happens. It's insidious. As I said to Delaine08, why should I be the only one suffering? And no, I don't have those lyrics yet. You'll be the first to know when I do.

The doldrums are waning. Not as fast as I'd like, and I'm inclined to blame the lack of carbohydrates. It's probably not that, but it seems convenient to do so. I have noticed that running helps ...

... so it's back to the training for me. Delaine08 is lookin' for a hobby. I recommended a triathlon (aren't I kind). Now, that's not as severe as it might sound ... I did my first "mini-tri" last year and thoroughly enjoyed it. Thing is, you only have to do short distances of each event (swim, cycle, run), so the training isn't really all that onerous. AND there's all that variety. People with ADHD should totally do triathlons. I mean, I love the long distance running (odd, eh?) but this is SO much more fun.

True, you have three things to do before you're done. True, they usually start EARLY ... the slower you swim, the earlier your start (haha), at least if the swim happens in a pool. Last year, I had to be IN THE WATER by 6:30 am. That's in the MORNING, people. Don't they know I'm a MUSICIAN and I don't go to sleep until at least 3:00 am???? Shoulda just stayed up. As I transferred from my cycle to my run portion, I asked a volunteer, "hey, how many times did the word 'certifiable' appear on that entry form? 'Cause it shoulda been more!!!!"

BUT of all the events I've done, it was my favourite. You don't exhaust any one muscle group, so there is minimal recovery time. Compared to the Half Marathon, which is two and a quarter hours of RUNNING, this was so much less boring. And the training is actually fun. Running is all about stamina, cycling is exhilarating, and swimming is soothing. Good combo.

ANYWAY. Failing that, I suggest cavorting around the house to ABBA tunes, preferably "Dancing Queen." Preferably with dust mop and rag in hand, to get the most benefit from flailing limbs, which might just accidentally clean something en route. (I hate cleaning. Gag. Barf city.)

OR you could tamper with lyrics. I'll leave you with this gem about an unfortunate underwear incident. I hope you'll get a good laugh out, and at the very least, have a new song implant for the next coupla days...... yes, I've copyrighted it (copywritten?) .... hehehehehehehe ... Probably WON'T sing this at the Legion.....

(To the Tune of “My Way,” with apologies to Paul Anka)

And now my underwear
Is feeling odd: yes, it is chafing,
Confused by little strings
This is a hell of my own making,
I dressed me much too fast
This simple task occurred the wrong way,
And now, much more is clear,
I wore them sideways.

These thongs, I had a few
But then again, too few to mention,
I chose the newest pair,
Wrapped them around my whole dimension
I could not see the tag,
Elastic waist was headed thigh-way,
But now, much more is clear,
I wore them sideways.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you know
When underwear was not so small,
The fashion world began to doubt
Saw panty lines, declared them “out,”
I faced it all, and I stood tall,
But wore them sideways.

I squirmed, I laughed and cried,
I’ve had my doubts, my share of plucking
The cloth from my backside
I find it all so dashed amusing,
To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way,
But still, I missed the tag
And wore them sideways.

For what is a girl, what has she got?
If not a thong, then she has not
Mastered the art of wearing strings
And not those great big granny things,
And no one knows, ‘cause they don’t show,
I wore them sideways.
Not one soul knows, they never show,
I wore them sideways!!!

© WorthNoting Music Productions 2004-07-24

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh dear, this is the funniest thing EVER!! I will write more later as I'm just heading out the door, but I just had to let you know how much that made me GIGGLE!!!!!!!!!!
    4580 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/14/2009 7:22:42 PM
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