Facing Stress Down
Monday, January 12, 2009
In the old Westerns, it always seemed the local hero was more stressed waiting for the gunfight at the stroke of noon than he was when he actually faced the gunslinger.
Well I finally faced a facet of the stress in my life. OMG was I nervous before the conversation. But I lived through it and no one hates me (I think!)
My DD and SIL and 3 grandchildren live with us due to - well mostly economic conditions. Every month we have been thinking "Well....next month they will be gone" Well next month and next month and next month has turned into two years. And there was this huge 800 pound gorilla sitting in the room.
SO I ...... well being me... was unable to let the 800 pound gorilla continue to hang out and look intimidating. So I brought the subject up at dinner on the 3rd of this month. And the gorilla has shrunk down to a mischievous chimp.
I mentioned that the 3rd was their 2 year anniversary of living with us. And I wanted them to be assured that we should all stop thinking that next month - next month - next month. I shared that I fully expect them to be with us for another two years. And that was o.k. as long as they could commit to some amount of financial contribution every month. The amount has to be something that was a true commitment. Something which could be depended upon.
I have come to realize in the current financial conditions of the world that our society will be moving back toward the family structures which were so prevalent in the US prior to WWII. It has only been in the last 60 years that children left home and established their own homes.
Prior to WWII, most families were a blend of generations and relations. I believe during the times of the blended families - there was less debt - less insecurity - less fear - deeper roots.
So that is where my household is and shall be for sometime. We will work to be a cohesive family unit - sharing chores - responsibilities - tasks - caring - and love.
For me, it means I can no longer allow the structure of my household, stress me out. I can no longer be crazy about the family circus. And I will not be carrying the burden of seeing the household runs as smoothly as possible alone.
And just knowing the gorilla has been faced and it didn't eat anybody has allowed me to breathe in a slightly less stress filled home.