I binge and want to stop. I am ready.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

This is me. Jen. I have lost 50 pounds and gained back 11. And it feels as if it may as well be another hundred.

So I have this problem. Well, I think it is more a symptom really. I binge eat and don't know how to begin to stop the behavior. I cannot stop eating when I am feeling any kind of emotion. I may try a therapist and maybe an actual Pshychiatrist. I mean, until now I have been doing great. I have jogged and eaten well, and I was 50 pounds lighter. Then I went away. That is when I started binging nightly.

I wan't stressed. A lot of people talk about stress eating. I mean, yes I have done that in the past. But this was different. I was out of my element. I ate and ate. We cooked all day. Food was everywhere and I ate everything I saw. And it felt, well, pathetic. And now I am in the wake of it. And I have a choice. And my choice is to drink my morning shake instead of eating Milk Duds. I can choose that now because I am IN my element, on my schedule.

I think before I can keep ANY weight off I really need to shed some emotional baggage. I am going to get a therapist and talk about issues. My childhood. My anger. My feeling totally inadequate. Whatever is on my mind I think getting it OFF my mind is key for me to be able to keep this weight loss thing up.

Even as I continued my poor eating and gaining, I didn't care! I kept doing it even though I knew what would happen. I did not care and I WANT to care. I want to be able to talk out my pain instead of eating it. I think I will join the bingeing groups also. I just feel BLAH. And I want to eat to feel better. Instead, I will go shovel the walk which burns a whopping 400 calories an hour! Go, ME! No, really, Jen, go NOW! Good girl...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I used to do (I pray I can keep it that way) the same thing. I am finding though, right now, that when I get hit with an emotional challenge that instead of turning to food I run or hit the gym. I noticed when I do this I come up with better solutions or redefine my feelings in the matter. Noticing the 11 pounds and making a choice to fight is a big deal. I bet before you would not chose the fight and instead just grab more food. Now you are gaining the tools to fight and not give up. Keep your head up. I usually dont tell many people this but read Zig Zigglers See you at the top, Tony Robbins Awaken the Giant or do the 30 days to personal power. In challenges those books provided me exercises and answers to why I feel what I feel and how to try and combat those feelings. I just wish that I would always remember what I learned and use my own advice sometimes :). With those items and this site in my tool kit of life. I feel I am on the right track. You can do it!!!!! KEEP THE SPARK
    4102 days ago
    Sister, this rings true for me, it almost hurt to read. I was within 8 pound of my goal when I started to binge and emotionally eat. I broke up with my long time beau and ate over it. I gained about 20 pounds. I had a breakthrough the other day though and I think that I'm finding my way back.
    I will send you lots of love and positive energy. xo
    4427 days ago
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