Wednesday, January 07, 2009
That is how much weight I have gained in the 7 months since my mom died. I don't know how I let it get this bad. I just kept watching the scale go up, swearing to make a change, and never doing it. I need to get out of this depression and take better care of myself. That is what I should have taken from my mom dying. When her mom died she turned to alcohol and when she died I turned to food. I guess we aren't that different in that we both turned to the wrong thing to cope. This is what I was thinking about last night. 2009 will be a better year for my physically. Even if bad things happen again I need to cope better. I don't want Joey to have to lose me too soon from a heart attack or something because I didn't take care of myself. I love my mom, but I can't make the same mistakes she did. I don't hold it against her, but I can't help but think about what could and should have been.