Lessons Learnt.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

So how is it that after losing 70lbs, someone can completely destroy all your confidence boosting efforts in a matter of minutes?
My heart is pumping, my stomach is churning, and my blood is rushing.
My friend just basically poured his heart out to my best friend (while I sat in the room pretending to sleep) about the fact that I'm 'perfect' from the chest up, that I definitely don't have a flat stomach, that I shouldn't be wearing clothes that hug my body, and that men only want me for one thing. It was the most devastating blow to my self esteem in the past year.
I know that this should not affect the way I think about myself and that he definitely doesn't even have a place to say anything (since he's 32 and still single, obviously doesn't know how to speak to or treat a woman) but it's still hard when you've worked your butt off for 12 months only to be told (sort of) that it's not good enough and that you won't be wanted because you have a 'belly.' Is it fair. No.
I think the thing that bugged me the most was the fact that he didn't think I worked hard. He didn't believe that I was hardcore at the gym. He thinks I'm lazy. He told me so himself a week ago.
I seriously think it's pathetic that I care so much about what he thinks but maybe this will be fuel. Maybe this will reignite that spark under my butt to get rid of the last 40 pounds.

Want to know something absolutely ridiculous? I used to like this guy. Actually like him, romantically, sexually, whatever. and for what? God. I'm a loser. It's 20/20 hindsight.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Getting healthy is hard enough without having to deal with "friends" like this. It is sink or swim time, and I'd say it sounds like you should "cut the line" on this so called friend. A true friend would be supporting you and lifting you up, not tearing you down like that. When people can speak so badly of others, it is likely because they are trying to take attention away from their own shortcomings. Don't let his words get to you. If anything, feel bad for him that he is so low in his own life that he feels the need to strike out at those around him. You should seek out friends who have the same goals as you and who will be there for you in good times and in bad. You are your own moral compass. Make decisions that make you feel good and happy with yourself. Whatever people on the outside think is their problem then, not yours.
    3382 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/13/2009 11:15:38 AM
  • KIMMY1445
    Oh girl!

    That sucks sooooo much that you had to hear that. But like you said, now you have some fuel and you know that he IS NOT the one.

    Seriously, if he can't except you for you.....and all of the hard work you've already had to do to get where you are, then he's not even worth the mental and emotional turmoil. Unfortunately, I know that is way easier said than done. Ekk. I feel for you honey.

    But now you know. And now you have the fuel to continue on your way! How awesome will it be once you've reached your goal and you can flaunt it in front of him? And at some point you'll find a guy who actually deserves you and appreciates you and you can flaunt HIM in front of this loser too! He'll see what he's missing out on.

    And besides all of the other stuff, you look FANTASTIC! I've said it before, but you are such an inspiration to people like me....with much bigger bellies than your's that we are working on working off! You have done so so well and it really sucks that this jerk has made you second guess that FACT!

    Basically, you rock. You look awesome! You should keep rocking your new bod. Keep working towards your goal. And kick this "friend" to the curb. He's a jerk and you need to be around more positive influences!

    3416 days ago
    PIXIELATED is right--70 lbs rocks! And 70 lbs. does NOT come off without HARD WORK! Somebody doesn't know what they are talking about--you are looking good! Tell him to take a look at someone like me who has had 5 kids and lost 40 lbs (and regained 10-15)--now THERE is a belly that is going to take some hard core work, and still may not go away. What does he want? Perfect? We CAN'T have perfect, so we just have to work for what we CAN have and know we DID the work. Keep up your hard work and BE PROUD! Remember, he can only destroy your self-confidence if you ALLOW him to. Again, I say: BE PROUD, STRUT YOUR STUFF & SHINE IN 2009!
    BLC emoticon
    3421 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/6/2009 5:43:16 AM
    He doesn't sound like much of a friend. Like you said- he obviously has no idea. Nobody should try and make what you have accomplished any less than it is. 70lbs ROCKS!!
    3424 days ago
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