i bit it, and i bit it hard!

so this is my blog admitting that i fell off the wagon hard core. to start with, when i did my first attempt at p90x, i injured both my rotator cuffs at the same time, so i had to stop, but i did start a running program and was running 3-5 miles four or five days a week. this time doing the p90x, i did it again! both my shoulders are screwed up, and it knocked me off working out but instead of doing something else-i just stopped working out all together. i'm tired of not being able to keep my motivation going. it's all in my own head and i know it! i feel like there is a mini boot instructor in there screaming --GET UP, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! but my body refuses.

this is the first year that my friends and i have aged to the point that we have started buying homes and having people over for the holidays. i'll be thirty in 5 weeks and we've made older friends this year, so this is the first holiday i have experienced having multiple gatherings for the holidays.every where i turn is sugar, sugar, and more sugar. i actually am sick of cookies, the thought of eating one more is making me nauseated right now. i ate, not alot, but i ate things that i don't normally eat. my stomach can no longer hold massive quantities of food, so my problem is not eating tons,it's eating bad things. everyone apparently decided holiday time is time for sausage and beef sandwiches. when i was maintaining my weight, i ate this once a week at most and it's been multiple times a week for the past three weeks. needless to say, i find that in three days of making poor choices and not working out, i can easily put on 1 to 2 lbs. this is scaring the crap out of me, like my body just attracts the fat to the cell.

this blog is not about making excuses for why i fell off the wagon. i'm definately taking full responsibility for that. i don't even know why i'm writing this blog, i just am. hopefully it will be cathartic, and i can get my butt off this chair and make myself go run a mile on the treadmill.