sorrow, stone, soaring

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Prayer and love are learned in the hour when prayer becomes impossible and the heart has turned to stone.Thomas Merton

sorrow,.. yesterday the depression dragon flew around my soul. When this happens, my thinkng is altered from my reality and my truth. The depression dragon pushed my inner button that delivered memories of times when I have really made mistakes in varying relationships. SORROW was spewing from all of the memories... reminding me of how my actions, my words or just being me caused great pain to others. I 'sorrowed' for being me. I 'sorrowed' for wasted time. I 'sorrowed' for being a burden.

stone... my heart became stone so that I wouldn't hurt. I stopped feeling. I deflected my family's every attempt to share love with me. I deflected all of my strategies that would allow my love to flow to others and most importantly to myself. I denied myself my own love therefore dammed the love that could flow to my family and friends. The depression dragon knows that interference with my self-love will interupt love to others. A very simple tactic to redirect me from being me .... from being on my path.... from continuing my journey.

Soaring... I can fly higher than my depression dragon. I slept well, I have journaled, I have turned the faucet of my self-love and am enjoying its flooding to others. I am happy again.
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  • CHERIE55
    Bless You My Child!

    Love, Hugs and the Greatest Admiration for You, My Dear Princess Terri,



    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    4083 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/23/2008 12:30:53 PM
    Part of my Blog:
    Face your past without regret, Handle your present with confidence, prepare for the future without fear.It Is the best way to live your life. You are doing right Terri some times we all go in the well we were in , but coming out back from is the main tact.
    Much Love
    4084 days ago
    I just wanted to say that your writing really spoke to me here. I have also felt that way. Recently, in fact. Yes, the sorrow dragon came to visit. It appears that you have defeated it this time. Good for you! Keep flying higher than the dragon, and don't forget to wave your flaming sword. Remember, light one candle....the fire is not for the dragon, but for the swordsman.
    4085 days ago
    I am so glad you are happy today. I have been on a rollercoaster between kinda depressed and kinda happy. I think I over think my actions in the past and even though I can't change the past I allow things to play over and over in my head trying to sort things out so I can forgive myself. I cope somedays by using isolation because I am afraid I might cause others problems due to my depression fog and screen that is not quite accurately processing.

    In a few words...I understand the depression dragon you speak of.

    Much Love

    4085 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/21/2008 3:53:30 PM
  • FITKAT2010
    Teri. YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO ANYBODY!!! Your understanding of this WILL set you free. You only can affect yourself. Love is not a commodity that you can give and receive like dollar bills. Love, TRUE Love is something that is always around everyone at all times, waiting for the acknowledgement of It's presence.

    Yes, what you do give you receive in the giving, but it was within you to begin with.

    The darkabyss that you frequent is a good thing. It means that the normal distractions of the activity around you doesn't do it for you. You are taking a dive inwards. Most are not brave enough to do that yet. On the other side of the abyss is the quiet voice within that you know is there. You are searching within which is the only place to search. I commend your path and your commitment to seeking AND finding.

    Love you!

    4085 days ago
    So sorry to hear about your dark yesterday! Sometimes it just plain hard to get out of the funky mood! I hope you are having a better day today! Kat
    4085 days ago
    good morning my sweetness
    missed you yesterday for sure and thought you might be out and about sorry about you being out and "in"
    i survived and you will also with that love flowing again hugs and kisses this morning
    yer royalnesses lady-in-waiting mary emoticon
    4085 days ago
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