1-99 SparkPoints 12

"Holiday Eating Tips" (ready to laugh?)

Friday, December 12, 2008

To my extremely healthy spark friends, I am passing on to you what a fellow-sparker sent to me yesterday. Laughing is healthy so, go ahead...Enjoy (that's enjoy, as in, reading, but not following, these tips)!


1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can
before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.
Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon This is just what I do when I'm stateside; greedily grabbing all the good food I can't get the rest of the year. I'm never there for Christmas but we can get eggnog year-round next door in Costa Rica.
    3393 days ago
    Thank you and it is so true. I will pass it ontoo.
    Have a happy New Year and it is already January! LOL
    3396 days ago
    AMEN Girl! You've captured the true Christmas spirit! After all it's the time to look like Santa right, LOL.

    Thanks for these good laughs!
    3411 days ago
    Too funny! Thx for the laugh!

    Hope your holidays are special and full of peaceful moments! Maybe one day we can sit with tea or coffee and really have a good long talk again! Seems like forever since we've done that!
    3412 days ago
    Very funny. I love it
    3414 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3414 days ago
  • MUJU71
    This was emoticon
    3414 days ago
  • CAROLYN0107
    Thanks Rena.. Very funny. I too will send this link to others!

    3415 days ago
    Rena, you are a joy to our team and thank you for sharing this list. I was laughing at each one, but also thinking with some, "Okay, I've done that!" I love the one about waiting until January when there's nothing to do. Some think January is a depressing month, but I'll probably be active with team challenges by then.
    3415 days ago
    Rena--THANK YOU!! I love this--and I sent the link to your blog to about 10 people!! Most of them aren't Sparkers, so they won't be able to leave comments--but they will be encouraged, and get a good laugh!!

    Thank you for sharing!

    PS--And I actually DO plan to follow them, at the right times and places! Because it's true--this is a time of richness and sharing--of the best we have, make and are! ANd I want to enjoy every morsel!
    3415 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/12/2008 9:40:41 AM
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