After Thanksgiving, before Christmas, just some thoughts

Sunday, December 07, 2008

After very slowly losing 25 pounds, I find myself stuck, emotionally and physically. We have just moved to Albuquerque (well, it's been since October) and desperately need to find jobs. I have no wardrobe suitable for office work, and have no money to buy clothes until I get a job! I have issues with my stupid feet (never kick an inanimate object while barefoot...this should be my mantra; and let's not forget bilateral plantar fasciitis and other assorted aches and pains) so wearing heels is absolutely out of the question. Getting back to clothes, does anyone out there have any idea how humiliating it is to find something decent to wear when:
1. you're 5'2"
2. weigh 200 pounds
3. you're on a strict budget and can't afford to shop at a store that might actually have something you could wear without feeling like an ill-fitted blimp!
I am trying so hard to keep my spirits up, and to maintain positive energy, but right now it's really difficult. I have no way to get my BF any sort of Christmas present, not without going broke in the process. If we don't find something soon, we may be out on the streets by January, and that would just kill me. I'm too old to be homeless! emoticon So, I'm trying to not eat out of emotional stress, but it's hard NOT to. Not to mention that with this limited budget, the healthy food is almost out of reach and I'm having to resort to keeping bread around (I live right by a Sara Lee bread outlet, so my dollars will stretch further), which is my bane.
So far, the one good thing that's happened is that I didn't gain back much weight (1 or 2 pounds, which considering all the junky stuff I've been eating, is damn good!) since Halloween, but I'm still not doing enough by way of physical activity. Being in the emotional dumps is not a good place to be, so if someone reads this, please send me mail via Sparkmail, I would sincerely appreciate it!
To all of us on this journey, I know we can succeed, even if right now I'm not feeling it for myself. I know that I've already made some positive changes, but I've got a long way to go yet.
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