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Adjusting to the 210lbs weight loss

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Wow!!! I never thought I would say that. It certainly has been life changing. Just in the way that I feel is totally remarkable. I have so much energy now its hard for me to sit still. No more aches in my bones and joints they feel the best they have ever felt. I have severe arthritis in both my knees but that doesnt even bother me anymore. Through my weight training and boxing I have muscles that I never ever thought I would have, Im actually seeing a figure and a butt!!! that has been hidden for a looooonnnnnnggggggg timmmmeeee.(lol)

I know my body is giving me a big thank you right now. Many of my co-workers who knew me at 420lbs all say they cant even imagine me like that anymore and all I can say is thank GOD!!! When I look at myself in the miror now its like Im looking at someone else, that its really not me. It scares me and then I cant help but cry because Ive done something Ive always told myself that I could never do. That it was impossible, there is no way I can lose all this weight, that I was too far gone, that I cant do it, Ive tried and failed so many times why should this time be any different.

What made the difference was I finally made up my mind and that I was going to lose the weight no matter how long it took me. I was in no hurry to lose the weight. I wanted to take my time, learn how to eat, what to eat, when to eat, what foods would help me in my weight loss, learning what good and bad carbs are, and how much I should have in the course of my day and so on. Im glad I took the time to learn about food because now instead of food taking over my life I have taken over it.
Ive taken charge of my body and I have learned to change the way I think about myself.

I had to first come to the place where I could stand in the miror at 420lbs and say I like what I see....Was not easy to do I had many many many cryiing sessions I could not bring myself to do that. I knew that the day I could it would be the day I could start the healing process of my self-hatred and from there it was one step at a time. I was patient with me and as the first 100lbs came off I joined my first gym and Ive been there for the past 2yrs now and loving every minute of it.

What I have to get used to now is this new life that has opened up for me that was not there when I was 420lbs. I could not walk and now I can walk anywhere. I am even running for the first time in 30yrs I am running!!!!! I can now walk into any store and buy an outfit no more buying out of big mens catalogs. Im even getting attention from men. Im so used to men not paying attention to me that when a man does I dont know what to do..(lol) its the funniest thing. I dont even know when Im getting hit on Im that clueless but Im learning, I have a few friends who are helping me along the way in this area.

For the first time in my life I am enjoying and excited about my life and its been an incredible journey a life changing journey and all I want to do is help those like me see that it is possible to lose the weight and give them the tools I was given to keep the weight off. I love people and I want to help them see there is a way out and give them hope that if I can do it so can they. With determination, discipline and a willingness to change this can be done. I have 70 more pounds to go, and I know Im going to make it. It has taken me 3yrs to lose 220lbs and I still have the same drive, determination and discipline to see the rest of the 65 pounds disappear.

Anyone who is reading this and feel you could use some help please feel free to write to me. I am always here ready and willing to see you through all of your struggles, fears and insecurities. Lets tackle this together you are not alone.

Much love to all

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    2120 days ago
    You are such an amazing person. I am so glad that we met. Thank-you for all the encouragement and support that you have giving me. I thank god for bringing you into my life. I don't know what is going on with the e-mails today. I wrote you twice today (dec.28th....29th) and all a sudden it was gone. Then I was about to go to bed and I saw that you e-mailed me back, and you did receive the e-mail. I wrote back to tell you how glad I was about your nephew, and the same thing happened. Oh well. Keep up the good work!! You deserve everything that life has to offer. Shelly emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4283 days ago
    " I knew that the day I could it would be the day I could start the healing process of my self-hatred and from there it was one step at a time."

    I want to know how you accomplished this. I have been as light as 175 in my adult life and still hated myself every bit as much as when I was my previous hight weight of 245.

    Now I am 285 and feel hopeless and worthless sometimes. I try and tell myself positive things, but all I can see is the lumps bumps and stretchmarks as screaming evidence of my failures. Do they ever shut up? How long did it take you to get past them, what was a turning point?

    I'm sorry for so many questions, but I'm realizing the importance of self-worth. I need some steps on how to get what you have!
    4292 days ago
    Thank you for sharing your testimonies with us. they really are an inspiration. well done to you. I am just at the start of my "new me" journey at 144kg and stories like yours touch myheart, because in a lot of ways they are my story too. I hope and pray that my ending will be as happy and successful as yours.
    God Bless you
    4298 days ago
    Hey I just had to read your blogs as soon as I got back to my computer..I did. Your life is so inspiring- I am going to use you as my daily inspiration today..I bet there are alot of ppl. out there that can learn volumes from what you have learned..I'm one of them..I would love to sit down and find out everything that works for you..I can't join a gym. I don't have the time but I do have a Bowflex and wts. and a punching bag..I'd love to have a boxing match once I have become better at boxing..I love to watch boxing on tv, even the hype is interresting to me a long time Sugar Ray fan...You have a lot to offer...take care..Rico.. emoticon
    4303 days ago
    Your story gives me so much hope! It is SO encouraging to read about your fantastic weight loss. Stories like yours are what encouraged me to believe that I could do it too!

    I was happy to read that I'm doing a number of the mental/emotional things you're doing (self acceptance where I am, accepting that the weight will come off slowly, taking the time to learn healthy habits and make them part of my everyday routine, etc). I'm a few months into my journey to lose 130 lbs..and I joined Spark in Nov so I wouldn't be going it alone. I'm so glad I did!

    Keep up the good work! You'll lose those last 70 lbs...or whatever amount you find feels best to you.

    4306 days ago
    emoticon Thank you for sharing your story! I know that if you can do it so can I! I haven't lost that much weight yet but I will work harder!

    Thank you for your inspiring story!
    4306 days ago
    You are an inspiration to me. I to have a lot of weight to lose and don;t really believe I can do it. I have lost from 362 to 292 and don't see the difference. I know I have lost but i can't tell my mind that I have. I have noticed a lot more going south than it use to be..hahaha anyway just want to say hi and congratulation.. anything I can do please don;t hesitate to let me know..
    4306 days ago
  • TAZ675
    Thank you for writing this! Today I sit here, bored at work, wanting to eat everything I know I shouldn't. I sit here wondering how I'm going to fit this. Your blog has turn my craving switch. Thank you!!

    Question, if I may, I've been losing for a little more than a year now (almost at 60 lbs gone) and up until the last 2 weeks or so, I've not had any trouble fighting cravings, in fact for so long I didn't even have any. But the last 2 weeks or so I'm craving something, I don't even know what specifically. This morning I wanted to walk over to Wawa and get something, but no clue what. Thankfully bad weather kept me at my desk so I could read your blog. My question - did you ever run into phases of unidentified cravings? If so how do you deal w/ them?

    Thanks!! Keep up the great work!!!
    4307 days ago
    I thank that is great.I hope I can do it.good luck.. emoticon
    4307 days ago
    You are an inspiration. Congratulations! emoticon
    4307 days ago
    It's interesting you see it as life changing -It's taken me 2 years to lose 200lbs with another 40 to go... and because it's been a lifestyle change - I don't remember being almost 400lbs... If it weren't for the pair of before pants hanging in my closet - I'd never believed I was ever that big...

    I keep hoping from that male attention thing -so that's very cool - well done for that :) enjoy that for everything it's worth...

    As a veteran of the trying and failing more times than I can count - what makes the last time work - is the same for anything really -the readiness to do it.

    Congrats on how far you've come... and enjoy the trip on getting to where you want to be...
    4307 days ago
    Wow. You spurred me on to write in my blog. Overcoming that fear is so important. Fear kept me from even trying for years. I learned to celebrate every small step on this healthy lifestyle journey. I learned to be enthusiastic about every good choice I make. Everything is a choice. You started with the choice to follow this journey no matter how long it took. Wow, there is power in that choice. We are in this together and you just made my day. ((Hugs))
    4308 days ago
    Wow! Thank you for sharing your reflections!
    4308 days ago
  • GABBY1027
    congrats on such an awesome weightloss!!!! I think whenever you feel down, you should reflect on how far you have come!!! I always like the thought process of baby steps! Take things one day at a time, one moment at a time!!! Keep it up!!!!! emoticon
    4308 days ago
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