Friday, October 03, 2008
Standstill broken! TOM is over, Chinese food digested, hop on scale = 5 more pounds that I am done with which brings my total up to (trumpets blaring) 60 lbs. gone exactly! Yippee! And that was with only going to the gym once this week, absolutely no time for more until Sunday at least. The birthday dinner for my friend was last night, and it went extremely well, AND I stuck to my plan. I only had 2 Corona Lights to drink and I had pan seared ahi tuna to eat. Did so well,due in part, I think, to the fact that HE was right next to me the entire time, so he truly is my inspiration, although he has no clue about that. Every time I get a craving or am too tired to go to the gym, I think of how I will look in the end and it stops me in my tracks. It helps alot when my friends tell me that he says things to them about how good I look, like yesterday when he said something to the birthday girl about my weight loss and that now I have a bounce in my step that wasn't there before! And now that my weight loss feats are hereby blogged, on to better things.....I know that I sound like a teenager with a crush when I go on and on about this, but as I don't keep a written journal, this is my way of remembering the interactions for analysis later........
So we all meet at the bar of the restaurant for a few drinks before dinner, and he sits right next to me. We chat a bit, thank God for the two beers because I did get a little tipsy, but did not make an ass out of myself for once with him. Then a friend came over and stood between us and was talking non-stop so he and I exchanged eye rolls a few times, and then she put him on the spot because she kept calling me "Ms. Sexy" and actually asked him if he agreed and he gave me a head to toe look-over and said "She sure is"! Gulp! Then I shooed everyone over to the dinner table and even though there were 16 other people there, he chose again to sit right, and I mean right next to me. Knees were touching, my hand was occasionally doing the flirting thing and touching his arm, and he neither moved away or seemed offended. For the 2 hours or so that we were at the table we almost only talked to each other. Everyone else was talking work shop, but he and I talked about all sorts of things. I asked him if it was going to be weird that our mutual friend and I were going to his bar on Saturday and he said "No, you should definitely come! We'll have alot of fun". Then he said that he did not know where he was going to be working in the bar so he said "Why don't you take my number so you can call me and find me?" so I put his number in my phone and asked him how I could possibly not find him since he is 6'4 and kind of stands out but he said the other bouncers are bigger than him! So I said well, good to know that I will be protected if anyone bothers me, and he said that if that happens to find him and he will pretend to be my boyfriend. Imagination overload right about now! We also talked about how it is a daily struggle in regards to weight loss or in his case weight maintainence. He said that all of the men in his family are tall like him but big and that is why he goes to the gym almost daily and works out for, get this, 2-3 hours! I said that I am lucky to go 3-4 times a week for an hour a clip and then he was asking me about my workout routine. We just kept talking and talking, about movies, a party we had gone to in June(he found it funny to find out that I was drunk at said party and I found it funny to find out he was as well, so he said "Aren't we the quietest drunks ever?", we talked about how both of us are more into people watching when we go out than interactive, and other stuff. Okay, realism check.....I know that the odds of us getting together are slim to none, I know that he is seeing someone else, but like I said earlier I write all of this so that I will not forget and can self-analyze. I ask my friends and family "What does it mean when he says such and such or does whoozy what". The general consensus is that a relationship is forming, and that perhaps he is receptive to me. I am at a disadvantage because I have not done the whole flirting thing in an extraordinarily long time, so I do not know if I am reading way more into every nuance than is really there. I go from an extreme high of thinking "Okay, he likes me" to an extreme low of thinking "Okay, he is just being the nice guy that he is" and it is wreaking havoc with my mind. I mean, he didn't offer his phone number to our mutual friend who we will be hanging out with tomorrow, HEe chose to sit near and next to me last night, he seems receptive and not repulsed by casual touches from me, he has made more than one comment to people in regards to my self-improvement (and I think knowing that it would get back to me) but what does it all mean? Hopefully, I can glean more info tomorrow because this is no way to live. I can't sleep, I can't eat,(okay, I can but I choose not to, not like I did before when my emotions were in high gear), and HE is all I think about all of the time. Crazy.