Life as a caregiver

Friday, September 26, 2008 it is a chilly rainy day in Connecticut. They say it will rain all weekend. We are sitting here waiting for Mom's bus to pick her up for daycare. My days seem shorter when she is away, but it is good for me to have time to get things done around here. My major cleaning gets done on the days she is there. It's a strange position to be in when you are the sole caregiver of someone, especially your mother. She is acting more and more like a child. You have to give her instructions one step at a time or she just sits and does nothing when it is time to get out of bed and get ready for her day. I am hoping that I will not have dementia or altzhiemers, but find myself forgetting things more and more. Maybe it is because I have lots on my mind. I sure hope that it! I love my mother dearly, but this is not an easy job day in and day out. Is there anyone out there who can understand where I am coming from? emoticon
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    I have set with the elderly for about 7 years now.. It can get to you sometimes....But look at the love and rewards that it brings....These sweet people have give their best years to us and now it is time to give back to them....

    When they go to getting to me...I walk in the next room and find something to do for awhile...Then back to them I go and put my arms around them and just Love them like a child...Sometime they like that and sometimes not so...

    You have to be an angel to take this day end and day out...I hope you the best....Maggie emoticon
    3492 days ago
    It is so very difficult to be a care taker for a parent. We do not expect to have to be their helpers. The most important thing to do is be sure you take care of YOU. Have some quiet time, some "ME" time and somehow find some time to have fun. I am glad that your Mom has the day care. God Bless you . You are being prayed for, May God surround you with His Peace and Love. Hugs. Pat
    3494 days ago
    It's sunny and warm here in Indiana. I hear the east coast is in for a wet, chilly weekend, but we won't be affected.

    Thanks for keeping it there! However I do sympathize with you for the gloom you must endure. It only adds to the mental gloom, I know.

    I am also a caregiver for my mother. I am fortunate enough to have someone who helps - for now. My son lives with me and works from home and when he must be out to meetings or on business, we have friends who will come to stay with her.

    Two weeks ago she spent 3 days in the hospital with pneumonia and bronchitis. Since she has been home, we have taken serious steps towards finding a nursing home for her. Although her physical health is generally good for her age (83), she depends on us more and more...especially me. I seem to be her anchor. One minute she seems alright and the next she is confused and unable to to even the smallest thing. Last night I had to help her get into her nightgown for bed.

    I completely understand your worry about developing Alzheimer's or dementia yourself. I wonder if my sons would put me in a home or actually take care of me. I don't sleep well, and the decision to just find a home has me unbearably stressed. I don't want to do that to my mother. I know she will hate it, but how much longer will I be able to push myself to the edge taking care of her? I have little social life and no time alone. The only time she isn't at my side is when I am in bed. Even then I must lock my door so she won't barge in on me (she no longer knocks) and want me for some very small thing. Sometimes it's only to tell me she's going to the bathroom.

    It's heartbreaking to watch someone you love deteriorate like this. Even hygiene is now beyond her. I have to be sure she bathes and washes her hair - and that is a huge chore, as she will argue with me, saying she just showered that morning when I KNOW she hasn't . I have to make everything an upbeat game in order for her for agree to it, and that in itself is draining.

    I guess this is more than you asked for, but this is always uppermost on my mind.

    Please feel free to pour your heart out, if needed. I know it's necessary to have someone who understands.
    3494 days ago
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