I Actually Binged
Thursday, August 28, 2008
It's been a long while since I have.... I had several candy bars from teh office dish throughout the day, and I was the last one to leave so I had about four in the space of two mintues. I came home and made a veggie sandwhich, then had a turkey sausage pattie with jelly on it. 903 calories consumed in less than thirty minutes!
It's the busy season at work. I've been drinking too much. I don't have much fun and I'm not happy withmyself. I'm fat. My spiritual life is suffering. I can't seem to keep my yard pretty and my house as clean as I'd like. I don't feel pretty or tryt o wear nice clothes and do my hair and make-up and keep my legs shaved. I am depressed.
If Gustav hadn't come along, I'd be traveling further away from home than I ever had on my second plane ride and all b y myself to a strategic planning session with a NEW client that we've not met in person. I'm actually relieved that I won't have to go.
It felt good ot binge. I knew what I was doing, too. I knew my stomach was full, but I had this need, this want, to keep eating. There was a hole in my throat. And I moped and cried for a bit, too...