I Actually Binged

Thursday, August 28, 2008

It's been a long while since I have.... I had several candy bars from teh office dish throughout the day, and I was the last one to leave so I had about four in the space of two mintues. I came home and made a veggie sandwhich, then had a turkey sausage pattie with jelly on it. 903 calories consumed in less than thirty minutes!

It's the busy season at work. I've been drinking too much. I don't have much fun and I'm not happy withmyself. I'm fat. My spiritual life is suffering. I can't seem to keep my yard pretty and my house as clean as I'd like. I don't feel pretty or tryt o wear nice clothes and do my hair and make-up and keep my legs shaved. I am depressed.

If Gustav hadn't come along, I'd be traveling further away from home than I ever had on my second plane ride and all b y myself to a strategic planning session with a NEW client that we've not met in person. I'm actually relieved that I won't have to go.

It felt good ot binge. I knew what I was doing, too. I knew my stomach was full, but I had this need, this want, to keep eating. There was a hole in my throat. And I moped and cried for a bit, too...
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  • SHERYLJ2011
    I don't know if there's anything I can say that the other two haven't already, but try not to let one moment of weakness and apathy defeat your overall efforts. Just get back on your feet and keep going - it's the Orthodox way; if you fall, get back up, and keep on getting back up, till the end of your life. It's also the way to a healthy lifestyle.

    3523 days ago
    I saw your Huddle and am now reading your Blog.

    It is a grim reminder to me that we all can fall off the wagon sometimes. I think the trick is to never forget to love yourself the way you would want others to love you.

    So you binged and you enjoyed it. I guess you needed that. But that was yesterday. Today is a new day to start again. Just go back to your plan and you can do this.

    But I still hope that Gustav goes somewhere other than Miss.

    Loving you just as you are and wanting you to be all you can be,

    3523 days ago
    We all have bad days, and sometimes those bad days spread into a week and we get into a cycle. I say break the cycle. You are a beautiful girl and are worthy of having a lively, happy life. You may feel fat and no one is going to tell you differently but in reality you need to take care of yourself and pamper yourself, do something for yourself. Here a just a few ideas to get you started.
    Smile, often all day if you can, even if you are forcing the smile it will change your mood.
    Watch some funny movies, see a comic, get yourself to laugh, the endorphins from laughing will boost your mood.
    Compliment yourself and others. Try to compliment someone or yourself once an hour. It too will boost your mood.
    When you hear yourself say something negative to yourself change it around and make it a positive. Positive self talk will raise your self confidence and motivate you to make positive changes in your life.
    Exercise, walking is the easiest and gives you a chance to reflect, refocus and recharges you.
    Find a mantra to say when you are feeling blue, depressed, down on yourself, something like - I am beautiful, I am intelligent, I am healthy and I love life!
    3523 days ago
    Make sure you get your water and try to get your sleep. I agree from here you have the symptoms of depression. Pretend that you care how you look try to fix yourself up.. No more alcohol it is a central nervous system depressant. So It make depression worse. Strange isn't it that we turn to it when we are fixing to feel bad eh? I gave it up decades ago because my system just can't tolerate all that...

    Walk and move, if you can work it in. Don't worry about blowing it. We all slip up.. Just get the water, fruit, sleep and walking. They did a study and Exercise works better long term than Zoloft. So we both should be moving more eh? You can get back in to this. You are very brave to blog so honestly. That's what makes me think you can get through.

    3524 days ago
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