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As the deer pants

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

We sang this song in church Sunday. I love it. But do I mean it? This morning I sit in a luxury resort. Something that I could never afford to stay in, but I am here at the expense of my husband's employer. While Mike works, I get to choose what I do with my time. But with that choice came a life lesson that will change my life.

I made my coffee and opened my Bible. I read. I am a journaler, journaling thoughts and prayers all the time. As I began to journal it dawned on me that even though I had no schedule...time still does not belong to me. First I was making a list of things that were possibilities for me to do: work on wedding plans, exercise, chat with all of you, go to the pool, read my book, take a walk, and more. I even star-ed the things I wanted to do in the morning, and places a circle by the things I wanted to do if I accomplished the star-ed items...then I actually journalled... "okay....hop to it!"

Then I began to write out my prayer to God. That prayer goes on for 4.5 notebook paper-pages. The Lord changed my heart and my focus in those pages. That began with the opening of my prayer, "Is there something You want me to add to this list? Something You want me to do instead of this list? I am Yours."

I stopped writing and just waited. The first thought in my head I wrote as the next sentence of my prayer. "Worship"

I have to say my first reaction was "but God, I didn't bring my guitar". LOL!! The next four pages and two hours were spent learning about worship. And I have been taught, and had the head-knowledge that worship isn't just singing praises...but this morning the Lord blessed me with a burden for it.

This may be long...take a break if you need to!! LOL!!

My first stop was is Exodus 34:14, "-for you shall not worship any other god, for the Lord, Whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God-" So I asked Him, what am I putting before You Lord? And immediately I knew it was myself. Idolatry. MY time, MY wants and desires. MY schedule. I Ouch! Repentance time.

Romans 12:1, "Therefore,I urge you brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual act of worship." My body is not mine, it is the Lord's.

How and what I eat can be worship. How I rest or exercise can be worship. How and when I fellowship can be worship. What is my motivation? Is it alignment with God and worshipping Him? Why do I love my husband? Why do I try to eat healthy? Why do I want to share God with others? When I really examined these things I found my motivations were still somewhat selfish. Very hidden, but selfish just the same. Oh the ugliness of the much we need a Savior!

Psalm 2:11, "Worship the Lord with reverence, rejoice with trembling". Do I really realize just Who God is? Do I really believe He is mighty to save, that He is Jealous, that He is deserving of all praise, that He is capable (and just) to bring about wrath, that He is completely loving and trustworthy...and so much more. If I really believed that, wouldn't I live in worship every moment of every day?! Wouldn't I shout it from the rooftop!? I asked the Lord to just give me a glimpse of Himself. I think He only shows Himself to me through His word and through other people because I could not handle even a small peek at His brilliance.

Phil 3:3, "For we are the true circumcision who worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh." Another confession. I live in the flesh all the time! I trust what I can see, hear, feel, taste...I live in my own strength most of the time! That is NOT worship-ful living. Worship-ful living would be to walk every step knowing it was for God, knowing He had a purpose for it, that He would use it to draw me more to Himself and others to Him as well. Every single step would be stepping in vain.

How do I apply this? How do I start worship-ful walking? My answer: Col 3:12-14, "So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity."

So, my life workout is worship. My workout clothes are compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and love.

Wow. I cannot live this on my own, in my own flesh. I need my Savior. But starting today, I recommit myself to the Lord to living in His strength and not my own. To recognise that every step I take and every thing that I do is all for worshipping Him.

Think I can create a new exercise on my tracker for worship-ful walking? I think it may be the hardest yet best exercise I could ever do.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MUJU71
    Thanks, Michelle, for being transparent once again. Your thoughts (or rather, the Lord's thoughts that He placed on your heart) go along so well with the message in my church on Sunday. Thanks for bringing it to my remembrance again.
    4376 days ago
    Worshipful living! Our every day walk, worshipping God as we go! Thanks for the thoughts and for your constant prayers on my behalf!
    4376 days ago
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