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Rest In Peace Patrick Collins 03/22/68 - 08/03/08

Saturday, August 16, 2008

My little heart is broken ... and all my theological studies, academia and otherwise, be damned because for the life of me, in my humanity, and at this very moment, I cannot understand the death of this kind and loving human being whose gentle spirit touched the hearts and lives of so many ... Through tears I denied the words that I was reading early this morning ... Hoping against hope that the post from CJ (CJROMB) was a mistake .. Perhaps there's another Pat Collins who died suddenly of an apparent heart attack --- Not "our" Pat who was much too young at 40, too healthy and too damned good a human being to die ... My son, Tom, is but a few years younger than Pat and Pat reminded me of much of him -- a kind, beautiful and gentle soul ... But dammit, don't y'all know that y'all aren't supposed to die before us???? You're just not allowed. We are supposed to go first ... We are older than you --we have lived our lives ... I mean, isn't there a law, an edict or something written to that affect somewhere???? I am desperately trying to make sense out of something that makes absolutely no sense... I know in my heart, in my very soul, that this is the cycle of life -- This is how it is all destined to be -- this is how it all works beautifully, Divinely, wonderfully. I get this, truly I do -- Big Time ... and, I must say, for some reason, Pat's death defies these precepts ...

And so today, I admit that I am selfishly crying the loss of a Precious Spark friend whose life perhaps would not have touched mine but for this thing called The Internet and Spark.... something for which I will be forever grateful... I am saddened because I have already missed Pat's almost daily Sparkmails that exuded a childlike innocence and inquisitiveness -- a genuine love for his family and friends; a shared love of diving, astronomy, computers, and recently, classes on sailing; he was committed to getting healthy and he possessed a zest for life in which mediocrity was not accepted ... Pat enjoyed his life and shared his love of life each and every day of his 40 years as if it were his last...

As this day has unfolded and in search of an appropriate tribute and honor to my friend -- OUR Spark Friend, I am choosing to see the beauty and blessing in this gentle spirit and his short time on Earth ... and even though the tears still flow and my little heart heavy, I know Pat was scuba diving when he died -- something he thoroughly loved and enjoyed -- surrounded by people who adored him as much and perhaps more as I did. There is solace in knowing that Pat didn't suffer ... He left the world as gently as he lived it ... And as I think of it, It just doesn't get any better than that.

Not only was today a day of sadness, it also is a day of celebration, of joy and counting our blessings as we are reminded to live as Pat lived.

And this evening, under Pat's tutelage and direction from Sparkmails past, I will search the sky to locate the brightest, most brilliant star that "sparkles" most brightly because that will be confirmation that Pat is continuing his journey amongst Pleiades ... Taurus ... The Big Dipper -- connecting in the Heavens what brought him so much joy here on Earth -- just now with the best seat in the house!!

It just doesn't get any better than that...

God Bless You Pat. Rest In Peace, My Precious Friend.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am so sorry...
    I didn't know him, but from the way you write about him, I can picture
    such a beautiful soul.

    I'll be sending thoughts your way and his family's.
    3953 days ago
    Thanks for sharing with us.
    3991 days ago
  • DKATZ85
    I am so sorry my darling Joannie!!!!!

    My thoughts are with you.

    You are such a beautiful person... hang in there and stay strong as you are.


    3992 days ago
    What a wonderful tribute to Patrick. It shows so much about his life to see his impact on his friends.

    My sincerest sympathy to you and to his friends and family and may you find comfort in knowing that you and he have inspired people who have never met either of you!!
    4011 days ago
    What a terrible loss( I didnt know him but thanks to you I feel like I did).Much too young..much too young. Very touching blog Joanne. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4018 days ago
  • ANETE27
    Very beautiful tribute, so sorry for your loss.

    When I first came across your page I thought wow, she is amazing and this just goes to show how kind and amazing you really are.

    4019 days ago
    That was very beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss.Sound like he was a wonderful friend! Life is not fair sometimes.I wish I could give you a great big ol bear hug!
    4021 days ago
  • TLAIR0468
    Your tribute to your dear friend is beautiful. I did not know this man, but after reading your blog, I felt a sadness for a life that was taken too soon. I am sure he felt as blessed to know you as you did to know him. I am sorry for your loss.

    4022 days ago

    4022 days ago
    Beautifully written!
    4023 days ago
    This is a beautiful tribute to Pat. You have described him to a T and I feel so honoured to have been his friend.
    Thank you dollface!

    4023 days ago
    Thanks for posting about Pat... I could not believe the news either. You wrote a beautiful tribute to him.
    4023 days ago
    Thanks for the post Joannie...and CJ is right...your heart is far from just feels small right now.

    A beautiful tribute to Pat. Thanks again. Love you sweetie...
    4023 days ago
    Thank you so much for this blog, but my dear, you don't have a little heart at all. You have a huge heart, and big, beautiful tears shed for someone who made a difference to lots of people with his warmth and friendship.

    I think you exactly pegged him. He was an awesome new friend to me, already in a month or two a regular person in my life.

    Thank you for sharing and thank you for talking to his family and telling us.
    4024 days ago
    Godspeed, Pat.
    Thanks for sharing, Jo. You've echoed much of what's going on in my head...
    4024 days ago
    May fond memories sooth your soul emoticon
    4024 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/17/2008 10:27:52 AM
    I am so glad you posted this and I am going to selfishly take a lesson from it. I am 40, with High blood pressure. I have such a long way to go in my own journey and have stumbled more than I have ever walked on it.

    I have two small children and think of myself as "too young" to have things like a heart attack happen. I know differently now, as it is staring me in the face.

    I want you to know this is my turn around event. A class mate of my daughter's was killed this past Tuesday. He was all of 11. I took from him to let my children be who they were going to be. Guide them and teach them to love everywhere they go. I can't do that if I am not here.

    I am making the change today. I invite you to check on my progress as I will be posting daily my food intake and exercise program.

    I stopped recording my weight. I realize now, it was just another attempt to lie to myself. I am 90 lbs. overweight. I have been foolish. I won't take my life and happiness for granted a second longer.
    4024 days ago
    Well said and thanks for writing this. I only corresponded with Patrick a couple of times but it was clear that he was a special soul. He was so driven in everything he did. I wish I had more time to get to know him. Thanks again for writing this. My heart goes out to you too. Hang in there.
    4024 days ago
  • no profile photo LESLIELOU98
    I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. He sounds like a wonderful spirit. May he rest in peace.
    4024 days ago
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