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Starting Over.... Again

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I am starting over again with my SP diet plan. I did great for almost six months, then when I didn't meet my first goal of 50lbs by a certain date, I got frustrated. Compound that with the fact that I have been battling some major health issues and emotional ones too; well, I just sort of copped out. My weight slowly but surely crept back up and I now am 12 lbs heavier than I was in May!!!!

So.... I am starting over. My daughter will be leaving for school again next week, and I will be home alone again. I will have to make sure not to give in to emotional eating. Being alone and lonely makes the fridge seem like a long lost friend. I also plan to get more active. I had hoped to do that all along but between my health and a very long history of no exercise--- that didn't happen. Now is the time to put that into action!!!

I am a very big girl-- I can't go work out at Curves yet. Too big for the machines, but I do have a gazelle here at home and there is plenty of wide open spaces to walk or ride a bike. Not to mention I have a ton of exercise videos in my entertainment center. All I lack is proper motivation!

I would so love to meet that goal of 75lbs this year and I am half way there, so with my good friends here at SP and encouragement from my family and friends I can do it. My biggest enemy is ME! I defeat myself all the time! I know what I need to do-- I just don't do it. It is almost like I don't want to believe in myself or I don't want to succeed but that really isn't the case at all.

Yet, here I am--- starting over again, with hopes of doing much better this time!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • VIRGINIA1966
    Holly - I thought that I was reading some of my own comments about myself in your blog. I also feel like I purposely sabatage myself. I have discovered a lot about myself since last October, because I joined a 12 step program and have been learning to really look at myself and change what I need to. We use the serenity prayer a lot 'God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the strength to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.' We can only change ourselves. We do need support from others that understand what we are going through and that helps us gain strength as well as praying...both God given.
    I also know what I need to do to get back a slim healthy body, but just can't find the strength or the time to do it. At least that is what I am using as excuses. I either hurt too bad or am too tired. I am an emotional eater. When stress gets to me, (which is normally several times a day!) I feel better by eating something to 'calm my stomach', or shop and spend money that I don't have.
    Any way, long story short, I just joined the Spark People last night and am researching the site today. I plan on starting tomorrow. So, after work and the chiropractor, I am going to either go for a walk or lift some weights. Those are my plans. Since I told you, I will try harder to stick to my plan!!
    Thanks! Keep in touch. Perhaps we can help each other get the job done and stay there!
    Joan emoticon
    3542 days ago
    Its SO good to hear from you! I REALLY need to get back on board too. I am just coasting and I need to re-commit soon. Hopefully I will be thru some work stuff in the next 2 weeks and I can refocus. Come cheer me along sometime! LOL
    3546 days ago
  • LYNNIE63
    Hi Holly!!
    So happy that you decided to come back and join us on this journey. I know I can attest for many of us that jumping on the wagon and living a healthy lifestyle and losing weight is not easy. It's downright challenging!! I have been a committed member (addicted is more like it) since the middle of this past Jan. and I have only lost 14 lbs. I just kept sabotaging my efforts off and on for months until I developed healthier habits that now are a part of my healthier lifestyle. I drink water for #1, exercise, am mindful of what I eat, don't feel guilty if I mess up, tomorrow is a new day that I can try to do better and I have developed wonderful friendships here at SP. This place is amazing!! I read articles every day on here and stay connected with my amazing support network!! Best wishes to you and so glad you have come back. Don't ever give up on YOU!! We are all here for each other, good days and bad. Hugs, me emoticon I look forward to getting to know you!
    3546 days ago
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