Had to get it out
Sunday, August 03, 2008
At the beginning of the year I was gung-ho to get to goal. Perhaps like I am now but not quite. I wasn't sticking to the plan like GLUE. Right now I'm like GLUE.
Anyway, yesterday I was working on my "work" laptop and I opened the calendar to sync with my desktop.
I had created a calendar to track weight loss goals. At 5 lbs/month I would have been at goal by now had I stuck to the plan then.
I know you're all going to tell me that was then, this is now, etc etc.
I really don't need to hear that so please don't.
I really need to feel what I felt when I saw it. I need to see that there are consequences when I choose unhealthy habits. There are consequences when I surrender to health problems and let them consume me and drive me into depression. These consequences could be life threatening.
Thankfully I've been able to pull myself out of it and allow the doctor to try a medication for the migraines that has in a way given me my life back. The migraines went away and the depression started lifting enough that I was able to treat it the best way of all: through healthy lifestyle - eating right and exercise.
So I'm feeling good and I've lost 8 lbs in less than 2 weeks. But when I look at that calendar and see what could have been, I can't help but be sad for a few minutes before I get dressed for the gym and move on with my day...