scared to death
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Ok I was looking at some of the things they want you to do setting goals, collages that kind of stuff. I was thinking of having my husband take a photo of me. Not only to show the changes but to encourage me to keep going. The thing is, just the thought of it puts my stomach in knots. It scares the crap out of me and I don't know why. I am the one that takes the photos, not the one that is in them. I think the last time I took good pictures was at my wedding. I had a corset on, proffectional make up & computer edited. Just the thought of seeing my self the way others do makes me ill. In my mind I am still the thinner girl from 6 yrs ago before I had my back surgeries (1 then 3 mths later #2 then 10 days later #3)and the nerve damage. When I look in the mirror I only look at my face when I put make up on. I have trained myself NOT to look at the rest of me.
Anyways I just felt like I needed to get off my chest.