Someone asked my why do I think yesterday's emotional explosion happened and why did I need the cigarette so badly.
Well ...I could go all introspective and analytical on you. I could do the therapist act and say that I really did not want to quit smoking back at the start of this year and that I was angry about quitting this lovely addictive habit. I could say that I had repressed this anger for 6 months and like all repressed emotions, they finally pushed their way to the surface and exploded. Yep that is what the therapist would say and it would cost me big bucks to hear it.
But I have a simpler explanation.
You see, I have two brains.
One brain is "Sane and Sweet" and the other brain is "WooHoo Wacky"
Sane and Sweet Brain will go shopping and be thinking about the budget the entire time.
WooHoo Wacky Brain will impulsively buy whatever strikes it's fancy.
Sane and Sweet Brain faithfully follows a healthy diet.
WooHoo Wacky Brain says "feed me NOW, feed me anything, just feed me"
Sane and Sweet Brain loves people and loves socializing.
WooHoo Wacky Brain is a recluse who hides from the world.
Sane and Sweet Brain gets out of the house and walks, goes to the gym, exercises.
WooHoo Wacky Brain finds the couch and stays there mindlessly watching whatever is on TV.
Sane and Sweet Brain is kind and understanding of other people and their human flaws.
WooHoo Wacky Brain thinks that everyone else in the world is crazy except me.
Sweet and Sane Brain is thankful for her blessings and and is so happy to be who she is.
WooHoo Wacky Brain gets angry at nothing, gets her feelings hurt easily and slams the door and pouts in her room. (Yes at 63 I can still pout in my room.....I earned the right!"
Sweet and Sane Brain is responsible and can be relied on to get things done.
WooHoo Wacky Brain will never do anything today that can be put off until tomorrow.
Sweet and Sane Brain knows smoking is killing me.
WooHoo Wacky Brain felt deprived of it's soothing addiction
So what happened yesterday is simple ....WooHoo Wacky Brain got out of it's cage and pummeled Sweet and Sane Brain into a bloody mess. Then WooHoo Wacky Brain ran amok until it was recaptured and locked away again.
I know all about WooHoo Wacky Brain and I have to live with her and control her. Usually I do.....sometimes I don't.