What I realized about my Parents
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Well, I did a great thing tonight... instead of going out with the "Shot Pushing Guilt Trippers"..a.k.a. my friends..lol.. I opted to stay in tonight and hang out with my folks. The 20th was the 4 year anniversary of my mothers father passing away and we pretty much sat around, them drinking wine, me drinking decaf green tea..lol.. and telling stories of my grandpa, before grandkids and after..lol.. He was a funny guy... and my parents were clueless parents at first..lol.. which made my grandfather even funnier. We had a great time.
After both my parents went to sleep.. I realized just how lucky I am.. I have both parents still alive, they are still married, and they are still happy. I was able to hear stories that yes, I have heard before... but I also heard new stories.. funny ones, that I would have never pictured my parents doing. I realized, I think for the first time EVER, that my parents really were young once.. that they didnt always have kids... that they werent always married.... that my father lived for a FULL 30 years before I was even born...
I know that this probably sounds really weird.. me saying this... I mean, of corse they were young once, of corse they were not always married... but I never thought of it that way until tonight. I sound like an idiot..lol.. but I guess I have always just pictured my parents as the parents of me.. and not the people whom dated and lived lives before they had me..lol..
I dont know what brought on this "thing"..it is weird. I just feel a little depressed now... I dont know why.. well, I do know why... TOM.. but that is besides the point...lol.. I guess I just feel bad that it has taken me this long to realize that my parents are.. for lack of a better way to put it... just people. That they lived lives before me and that once they had my brothers and myself.. they sort of put their lives on hold and stopped being those 2 funny people I heard about tonight and became the people that I know them as..... aaaahhhh, I am sitting here frickin crying.... not that my parents arent fun.. because thay are, but thay have always been that, "This is my mom and dad and thay are funny".. not, " Hey, this is Sue and this is Larry and they are crackin me up!" I guess they decided when they said, ok lets keep her..lol.. to stop being Sue and Larry and become Mr. and Mrs. P.
I have to wonder though... do they regret having us so quickly... would they rather had waited a little longer to start our family so they could have spent more time as Sue and Larry instead of Mom and Dad?
I dont know.. I think I am just tired and OVERLY EMOTIONAL..lol..
I dont know... maybe I should have had a beer..lol..