WAAAAAAAAAAAY overdue blog!
Friday, June 06, 2008
Has it really been since January that I blogged? I am having a really hard time focusing enough to even write this. I don't know how to organize my thoughts or wrap my head around what has been going on with me!
I think I'll start with the GOOD things so this won't be too depressing... One of the best pieces of news is my reduction in medication. I suffered for many years with depression and took significant meds which I am completely off of- YAY. I am also completely off of my blood pressure medicaion that I have been taking for YEARS. I am monitoring it every day and so far so good. I am enrolled in the CAGS program (Certificate of Advanced Graduate Studies) which will get me certified as a superintendent and then will get my doctorate. Soooooo
Why have I fallen off the wagon SOOOO badly? I'm not sure. I think I was so cocky about losing almost 50 pounds that I felt like I had this whole thing "conquered". I was eating really well, buying lots of new clothes in the "regular" section and getting loads of compliments. I kept thinking I could do a few "bad" things here or there and it wouldn't hurt me. At some point I woke up and reallized that I have put on almost 15 pounds! It feels like it happened over night but OBVIOUSLY it didn't. I have also been feeling at the top of world because I am doing the breast cancer walk (60 miles, 3 days) in August. I think all the walking made me hungry and I feel like I can eat lots of extra food. I think I would have to walk to China to make up for what I've been eating!
So I need a plan. I made TONS of amazing friends on spark but I have been negligent with that as well. I stopped tracking because "I had it all figured out" and I stopped posting on threads because "I'm too busy". If I don't make some time to get back on track, I'm going to be right back where I started. If I don't admit I'm spiraling out of control and get back into my support network, I'll regret it for the rest of my life!
So for the couple of rough things going on....One of my 5 kitties was just diagnosed with cancer and is shriveling away to nothing. I have been spoon feeding him twice a day and doing IV fluids once per day and antibiotics, prednisone and a liver supplement too. I am exhausted and sad....
I also spent a good part of last Friday in the hospital with my leg and foot swollen up like a balloon. I was rushed for an ultrasound and they suspected a blood clot. They found a baker's cyst behind my knee but aren't sure that explains all the swelling. I see an orthopaedist next Thursday and need to stay off of it and keep it elevated. I am devastated about the impact this has on my training. He said I can still walk some but not all the miles I have been. I HAVE to do the walk, I HAVE to get through August. I am staying positive and will wait to see the specialist.
So, enough of my rambling.....if you have bothered to read this, thank you! I need my friends more than ever! Please give me a serious kick in the pants and stick by me. I promise I'll try to do the same for you!