Digging My Heels In

Friday, April 25, 2008

Okay...so I did find out the universal sign language signal for "Stubborn" is the donkey. I admit it...I am stubborn. We could go into a myriad of reasons and finally it boils down to what I do to myself...HOWEVER...it is MY lesson. Of late, I have not stayed on task with my journey into health.
Although my calories have not really surpassed my daily goals, it has been the wrong content and my exercise has been seriously lacking. So...I am BACCCCCK on task after some serious choices.
A few days ago we visited my folks. For our afternoon coffee we decied to have some local apple fritters. I have not tried them but keep hearing how good they are. Normally...I do not really care for sweets...usually crave mine in starches.
Well, they didn't have the fritters so I got a dozen doughnuts. None of us really need any of it but we all had one. When it came time to go...my mom insisted we take them. My DH (didn't stand for "darling" husband at the time) kept saying "no". Finally my dad took out a couple and we took the rest. Before bedtime DH had had one. In the morning...I could smell the coffee and couldn't wait to share it with a doughnut...even a day-old one! I had TWO, then recorded them in my spark nutrition log...knowing it added up to nearly 400 calories and I could not have more calories for the morning or carbs later in the day. I held to it. When I examined my intentions...I realized, I was "bucking" DH. I HATE it when someone tells me what to do, how to do it etc. For so many years as a child and then a "sheep" in my previous marriage...I detested being controlled! My body, my weight were issues NO ONE could touch! As I logged my food...I took a few minutes to be with those feelings, to examine my reasons (or insanity)...and have made peace with it. That has put me on the higher road/right track. It's all about the lessons for me, guess I am a SLOW learner but I really have to know in my heart the reasons for my feelings and desires before I can successfully change them for the good.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thats it. THats the answer. Know Thyself. Good thinking girl. You'll get there.
    4681 days ago
    what a wise woman...i used to work at a bakery and when my boss(the owner) would give me grief, i would show her, i'd go get a danish or longjohn...when i started getting control of the "i'll show you eating" i started taking a walk around our building instead--i'd be cooled down and NOT fatter for it...i was so proud of me when i started realizing what i was doing--and, yes, i still SOMETIMES will fall back into that--I'M in control of MY eating(or over-eating--but I'M in control!!!)--yea, donna...sssmmmiiillleeesss, karen3
    4686 days ago
    sorry wrong blog
    4693 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/27/2008 1:55:55 PM
    Isn't it so true--we are who we are! Good work tracking down what's behind those donuts. You're on the right track, and it will get easier to make the right choices for the right reasons, too!
    4694 days ago
    You can do this! You are doing it right by looking at your feelings and realizing why. Keep moving forward.
    4695 days ago
    oh gosh Donna.. I hear you so loud and clear. I have the same stubbornness and i could just kick myself for it sometimes! I bought a box of dark chocolate altoids yesterday even tho I was telling myself no all the way to the checkout stand but I had them opened before I pulled out of the parking lot.. telling myself they are only 15 calories for 2 pieces.. but this morning the box is empty!!!! I need to get bck to my exercise too.. so thanks for the reminder you said it loud and clear.. Time to get real and get healthy!!!

    Big hugs to you, debbie emoticon
    4695 days ago
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