Digging My Heels In
Friday, April 25, 2008
Okay...so I did find out the universal sign language signal for "Stubborn" is the donkey. I admit it...I am stubborn. We could go into a myriad of reasons and finally it boils down to what I do to myself...HOWEVER...it is MY lesson. Of late, I have not stayed on task with my journey into health.
Although my calories have not really surpassed my daily goals, it has been the wrong content and my exercise has been seriously lacking. So...I am BACCCCCK on task after some serious choices.
A few days ago we visited my folks. For our afternoon coffee we decied to have some local apple fritters. I have not tried them but keep hearing how good they are. Normally...I do not really care for sweets...usually crave mine in starches.
Well, they didn't have the fritters so I got a dozen doughnuts. None of us really need any of it but we all had one. When it came time to go...my mom insisted we take them. My DH (didn't stand for "darling" husband at the time) kept saying "no". Finally my dad took out a couple and we took the rest. Before bedtime DH had had one. In the morning...I could smell the coffee and couldn't wait to share it with a doughnut...even a day-old one! I had TWO, then recorded them in my spark nutrition log...knowing it added up to nearly 400 calories and I could not have more calories for the morning or carbs later in the day. I held to it. When I examined my intentions...I realized, I was "bucking" DH. I HATE it when someone tells me what to do, how to do it etc. For so many years as a child and then a "sheep" in my previous marriage...I detested being controlled! My body, my weight were issues NO ONE could touch! As I logged my food...I took a few minutes to be with those feelings, to examine my reasons (or insanity)...and have made peace with it. That has put me on the higher road/right track. It's all about the lessons for me, guess I am a SLOW learner but I really have to know in my heart the reasons for my feelings and desires before I can successfully change them for the good.