Funny Church Announcements

The Pastor would like to thank all of you who paid your tithes last
week. With the high price of gas -- every little bit helps. And, he
wanted us to mention that if you write a check, please make sure that
it does not bounce. He said that you are still encouraged to pay your
tithes and God only wants 10%, but if your check bounces we gone take
25%.

From the health ministry: The usher board has asked those frequent
shouters who routinely pass out on the altar to please wear clean
underwear. Let your praise be holy, not your draws. Amen.

The deacon board has brought this to our attention also if you are one
of the people that got tapped on your shoulder Sunday morning, make
sure you pick up your Altoids at the hospitality desk before entering the
sanctuary. Saints, lets not let our breath hinder our neighbor's
praise.

Special Note: We would like to apologize for those who came out to the
Youth Explosion conference last night. The youth choir's remix of
Shake that Laffy Taffy was totally unexpected. The youth director has been
reprimanded and will issue a formal apology Sunday morning. Also, for
those who witnessed Mother Green getting up and doing the Laffy Taffy
dance, and are concerned, she is doing fine. She is in Methodist North
recovering well .

Saints, don't forget about the Chitlin dinner this evening. If you
haven't already placed your order, call the church office. And for
those who are a little skeptical after the last Chitlin dinner, please feel
at ease knowing that Pastor Happy has prayed over the Chitlins and no one
from the Drug Rehab Ministry was involved in the preparation this
time.

Please govern yourselves.