What keeps holding me back on this journey...

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

It took me 6 months to even lose 20 pounds on the WW program and keep it off then I had my daughter so some good that was...LOL....the pregnancy put it all back on plus extra and it's been a royal pain to get back off
again...doubt it ever will to be honest. It's just real disheartening
bustin my ass and gaining week after week....then get a huge loss then guess what back to gaining again and it aint all muscle eithwer cause I'm gaining on my measurements too for some reason.

I'm just so ready to go stuff it and learn to be blessed with what I
got....I dunno just Libb's passing have put alot of things into
perspective. She was always self concious about her weight then got leukemia....got down to goal because the disease was killin her, she got to goal IN A WEEK!! she had over 80lbs to lose! she was losing 10lbs A DAY!!

Just feels wrong to be obsessing over my weight when I have my health.

Right now I'm between a rock and a hard place with where should I go from here.

I think for me self acceptance is a HUGE issue, I kept getting told for 6 years straight by my ex fiancee and his family ythat I was fat and noone will ever love me cause I'm fat...even going as far as offerring to pay for the surgery...fast forward 3 years and he's married to a woman 3 times my size...work that one out for me cause I can't get my head around it!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    See,I am a moron! The reply button was right below!!!

    Darlin', cut yourself some slack without giving up. Sounds like you've got a bunch of real hard stuff to sort through. You're worth being kind to yourself on this journey. I feel like I'm not living my life when I put all my focus on my weight. You can tell from my posts that I'm trying not to be the "all or nothing" person I am. I'm still trying to find balance at the tender age of 54! Just take each moment as it comes. Make the best choice you can at the moment. If you want to hang with friends sometimes and drink wine,do it. You play with your children and feed them and yourself well. Get in some walks when you can. Write down the positive things you have done each day. And any positive feed back you've gotten from someone else (including your kids)
    Forget trying to do the challenges with us right now. Let it go. Come hang with us as a respite and escape and support. We'll be here when you feel strong enough to take it on again. Hide the scale and give yourself a hug.
    You're a smart cookie...and sometimes the smart ones think they can think themselves through their feelings. You can't. Feel the feelings...they will flow through you and little by little you will be able to observe them more objectively and with less and less hurt. I promise you.

    I'll "blog" to you as often as I can.

    3669 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by KUNOICHI102