Sunday Sunday Sunday
Sunday, April 06, 2008
On Friday and Saturday I went to look for shirts. All of mine seem to be much too baggy. I just feel ridiculous in all of my old ones. So I set out to buy at least a few new ones.
I had no luck. Either the shirt was too baggy with sleeves that were too short or too tight...or it just wouldn't fit. It was a bit depressing. I walked around the store feeling sorry for myself and walked out empty-handed. It appears I still have some work to do on my self-esteem. I just didn't know I had THAT much work left.
I am totally uncomfortable letting people see my bare arms. That's the problem. I also have that lovely back fat that I am not fond of. The arms are my biggest issue. I'm planning on really working out my arms as I continue to lose weight. I really want to feel good showing some more skin. Its going to get warmer soon, and I won't be able to wear a jacket without people really noticing that I'm just hiding under it. I think I'll work out my arms every other day. I really want to get some arms to be proud of.
The hard part is resolving these issues I have with my arms. I think I'll have to start wearing tanks under a jacket more often and just tell myself every day that I CAN pull off the sleeveless look. I guess I'll have to find some positive things to say to myself and also get some honest opinions from people about how I look. I just need the confidence...and then even if my arms aren't quite perfect...I can show them off fearlessly. That would be so great for me.
I'm at 197 and I'm pleased with that. Its funny how 46 pounds seems like moderate success. I thought when I get closer to 50 pounds lost I'd feel like I've lost substantially. I've almost lost 20% of my total body weight. That magical 10% has come off...almost times two. That's good, right? lol. I know it is...but my modesty keeps me from celebrating too much. More self esteem issues. Fun fun.
On my second day of shopping I did find some very cute shoes, though. I needed something other than my walking shoes to wear out in public.
I also found a pair of jeans in the REGULAR section. Size 17...and they were actually petites...so no hemming! Yay! When I get down smaller I have some hand-me-downs from a cousin of mine. These 17's are tight...but just tight enough. It will be great to get too small for them.
Today I played badminton...did some walking around stores...and kept my calories at just around 1200...a little above. Its good that I stayed in the low end of my calories. I slacked a bit on water...but tomorrow is another day.
Have a great Sunday everyone and thanks for all the congratulations. I'm humbled. I really am. :)