Wednesday, March 26, 2008
i've found it a bit hard today, to keep the horrible disordered voices out of my head.
maybe it was tracking the food, i knew i would get obsessive about it but how else am i supposed to know what i'm eating?
i was planning to have a snack in the afternoon but skipped it (would have been a kiwi or a WW yogurt, frozen - by the way it's delish!), even though i was hungry and i could have done with it.
i probably overestimated my dinner in my nutrition tracker.
at least i made myself a proper lunch - healthy, filling and tasty.
it's just so hard to not measure my self worth with how i succeed in this diet. it's what's always happened and i just don't know how to let it go.
i know that if i don't eat enough, it's going to backfire. SLOW, is the key. and yet i can't shut this voice up, that now i'm losing weight i need to half my calories and exercise more more more.
argh. well i probably had somewhere around 1000-1200 calories today, and burnt off approx. 300-400 from cardio and strength training. i don't know if i'm doing it right, but i haven't skipped any meals and i had an apple for a morning snack.
tomorrow is going to be hard though - lunch will be ok, i'll eat something substantial with mum and sister. but in the evening i'll be alone and i know i will be so tempted to skip supper, as i find evening the hardest times to eat properly, if i'm in this mindset. i really hope i can cook myself something healthy and high in protein (carbs past lunchtime scare me), like some fish or chicken or tuna salad. anything.