_HARMONIE_

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Tommorow never comes :/

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I was going good for a few months , then about 3 weeks ago i just stopped caring and started up my old habits again. Eating whatever i feel like and no exercising. But eating so much that i felt like i couldn't possibly get anything else into my body if i tried. I felt like i couldn't move. And couldn't breathe right, because i had sugar in such large quantities. The worst part of the whole thing, is that i wasn't even hungry while i was eating, and eating more just made me feel more sick, yet i still kept eating. What the hell is up with that .

Its 730am here now, and i've already had breakfast which was cereal and then yogurt. The thing is i wasn't hungry because i was still full from last night's crazy binge. So now i feel even more full and really really sick . I just want to cry .

Everyday i say i will start again tomorrow and get excited about it, then eat myself sick so that the next day i can start my diet. I've been saying this and doing this now for 3 weeks and nothing has changed. Tomorrow hasn't come yet. I'm starting to get scared. I feel so overwhelmed with how much i have to do to get back to where i was. I have put on the 2 kilos i originally lost in the last 3 months. I'm so annoyed with myself right now. I've been trying to lose weight for 3 years but i just can't motivate myself. I guess i haven't been trying at all, what with all the binges i've been having over the years.

I'm scared of failure, scared of the thought of what if i do everything i can , exercise, eat right , for months, and still don't get anywhere. I'm trying not to be so negative today, but this has really got me down . I don't want to start tomorrow, i want to start right now. I think i need to stay away from food for the rest of the day, to get over that nasty sick too full feeling.

So i guess i'm starting my whole exercise and eating right regime again from right now onwards. wish me luck :(

xx
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TMOMMA
    Dont be so hard on yourself. I know how frustrating it can be. Believe me I have been there so many times before. But never give up. Just start off with babysteps. For instance is you just start off drinking your 8 glasses of water that is a wonderful start. Every little step is a step toward a healthier you. Im afraid too. I think we all get that way from time to time. You can do this. Instead of starting over tomorrow, start right now. You have got the right idea. When you say you will start over tomorrow it just gives you the license to eat. Like I said just take it on step at a time. You can do this. I am here for you anytime you need me.

    Hugs n Prayers! Twana
    4790 days ago
  • BOXERWOMANB
    Hi, Harmonie! I've been in the same place before! But you know what, we can change. We don't have to change EVERYTHING or ALL AT ONE TIME. If we just make a small change, maybe each week, or whevever you can, those changes are going to add up and be the difference in losing weight this time! So don't look at the total of weight you have to lose, for now. Do it in 10 lbs. increments. That's one reason I LOVE LOVE the spark teams.....'the villes'. Like if you weighed 156, then you'd be in 'Leaving 150-Ville' and then when you lose down to 149, you move to 'Leaving 140-Ville'! It doesn't take that much to lose 10 lbs. and when you do start losing, you get more motivated to stay with it. And it really FEELS like you're doing a lot more, when you get to move to a new team! Try it with me! I'm now in 'Leaving 240-ville' and that was even a big accomplishment to me, cause I couldn't even remember the last time I weighed UNDER 250!!! I'm stuck right now but I've not been trying very hard so need to get back to it. If you'd like to add me to your friends list, feel free. Please don't give up. Let's just think of a new habit for you to change.....right now. Is it water? Do you need to give up soda or something else and drink your water each day? Try that then. Or is it donuts? Then give them up for now...replace them with a yummy, hi-fiber cereal with fruit in it. There's lots of things you can choose to work on, one habit at a time and I'm here for ya!!! You can do this!
    4790 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2918005
    Hi Harmonie, I know exactly how you feel I am going thru the same thing now myself. I have been bingeing for the last 2-3 weeks & haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks. I just got off a binge last nits, but mine was carbs. I eat bread, buns, bagels, & cereal. I go into such a tailspin afterward. I've had a headache for the last 2 days. I don't want my old habits to come back either.
    I would really like to be a buddy to you if you're interested & add you to my friends list.
    Hang in there!!!!! As I always say "You are never a failure as long as you never give up".
    4790 days ago
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