Thursday, March 20, 2008

Well, I've gotten back up to about 201. This week will probably not be my week. My weigh in is tomorrow. Unless I lose 2 pounds in less than 24 hours...I'll be at this for at least one more week.

I'm just going to be honest. I feel bad that everyone is so happy for me almost being out of the 200's...and I keep screwing it up. I feel guilty for getting all of this praise and still coming up short. I don't feel like I deserve to be praised for failing this many weeks in a row. I think that is what it boils down to.

In an attempt to look at a different number...I lost an inch from my hips from the beginning of February to now. That's one good thing. About 6 inches are gone from that area, in total. I wish this made me feel better.

I feel like I'm letting everyone down for not being in the 190's by now. I should be there. I was lazy, though. I just didn't exercise enough and there were a few too many days where I over did it by a few hundred calories.

I can't seem to push myself enough...but I plan to try and change this.

Today I'm going to reflect a bit and then start planning again. I'm going to plan a couple days worth of meals and snacks and exercise. Then I'm going to stick to it...and I'm not going to let laziness get in my way. I think I need to be tough on myself.

Hopefully this will get me back into that wonderful feeling of losing at least 1-2 pounds every week. I miss that feeling.
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    I'm slowing learning that this is a test of endurance, not a race for speed. Therefore, you can NEVER let anyone down. You've made great progress so far, and I hope you are proud of all that you've accomplished.

    Keep up the great work, my friend. I'll continue to cheer you on. *hugs*
    4869 days ago
    You are not letting anyone down darlin'! What you ARE doing is showing us that just because the road gets bumpy, you do not give up, you keep going and you keep your eye on the prize!!!!!!

    This journey IS for you, not for anyone else, it is about what YOU are learning about yourself, your body, your life, etc... Have faith in yourself, because we have faith in you. You WILL get below 200 and even lower, so no worries! It is not how fast you get where you are going, the journey is what matters.

    Love ya girl and rooting for you,
    4874 days ago
    Hmmm... I wonder!?... Are you losing weight for yourself or for everybody else, girl?? I mean... so what if it takes a bit longer for you to get under 200 lbs,... the important thing os that you WILL get there soon.. maybe you should find a feeling of being proud of coming all this way and a confidence that you can get under 200 lbs instead of being so hard on yourself... you risk to do more harm than good to your motivation if you push yourself from a fundament of what you THINK everybody else expects from you! We just want you to feel great--- every step of the way... and sometimes the scale goes up because that's natural.. a biological rule... the rule of nature... no yin without yang... no white without black... you know?? :-) No happiness without misery... otherwise how should we know the difference and appreciate it?
    No weight loss without set backs... and set backs are only there to make us stronger... remember the big perspective... not only to get lighter, but also to get healthier... :-)
    You've come so far, and you should be SO proud of that! I believe in you! :-)

    Hugs C.
    4874 days ago
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