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Hating myself right now/ damaged self esteem

Saturday, March 15, 2008


I feel emotionally down this week, the pounds being alil stubborn and my boyfriend got a raise which is great, but they call him into work more than usual now, I haven't seen him in almost 4 weeks, it has hurt me more than I thought, for some reason names one of my exes called me started popping up in my head and I feel how i felt then I had just lost 40 pounds before i met him but he thought at 182 I was still too fat for him why I stayed with him I do not no, but he called me names he said they would call me in his country he came from , he said he called me those names bcuz he loved, me, but i said how could that be love, love in unconditional, I now here those names and I start to argue with my bf bcuz i feel he feels the same some how, i let that emotional baggage scar me and I don't want to take it out on him, i just want my self esteem back, it as been damaged and gone for along time, any advice? help!!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • J0ETTE
    Ashley, You are sooo beautiful in the photo's you post.

    What kind of job does your boyfriend have that keeps him away so long at a time? have you had a chance to talk to him about your feelings? It sounds like your boyfriend loves. I think finding people to talk about this with will work wonders. You DO have a lovely spirit. I can see it in your photos. :) You are awesome! Others can only have the control you give them. Put those past feelings in a box and toss 'em out with the garbage. ;)
    4728 days ago
  • CORNWALL05
    First let me say that the reason why your ex put you down is to make himself feel better cause he lack something you are now and forever be a beautiful and amazing woman I know that it's hard but you have to let go of the past to move on with the future. take care sweetie and keep on praising yourself cause your deserve it remember your BEAUTIFUL
    4732 days ago
  • AMBERENNIS
    Hey, Girl! Just wanted to let you know how beautiful you are!! I had a boyfriend that was just as mean to me as yours was and still couldn't understand why I stayed with him. I think that they are the ones with such low self esteem that they need to make some one feel so low about themselves to feel better. You need to understand that you may struggle with a weight problem, as most people these days do, but that does not make you worthless. You have the power to change what ever you want in your life, and don't let anyone ever tell you different. I know it is hard sometimes, but you are a strong person. Don't Forget IT!!
    4735 days ago
  • LWATERH
    Okay, I am agreeing with everyone else in their blogs. You NEVER let anyone, regardless of who it is, down your self esteem like that. Usually when people talk down about you, it is because they have issues of their own and want to feel better by making someone else feel bad, you know what I mean? And as you can see, there is a reason why your EX is an EX! As for your bf, you should definitely communicate with him (like Hopeful said) and let him know you miss him and how you are feeling.

    Hang in there girlie. I don't like hearing you so sad. We're here for ya!
    4738 days ago
  • PRETTYNINK23
    girl i care about u so much and hate when u feel bad i dotn want u to feel this way, your bf now loves u so much adn he loves u with or without the extra weight, that ex was being a jerk to u and it was his loss not yours so girl dont let this get u down, u are beautiful, you are strong, you are awesome and i love u just the way u are, your such a blessing in my life and many other peoples lifes so dont let this get u down. ~danielle
    4740 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3048897
    I am very overweight and my husband has never once called me a name or put me down in any way because I am overweight. A man that would do that is doing it to control you. It works like this people that are hurting and insecure put others down. It had nothing to do with you. Tell Jesus how you feel he can heal your heart. You need to start being kind to yourself and realize there is a difference between you weight and you. I am sure there are a million things about yourself to like! You are a pretty lady on the outside to. The only thing weight loss accomplishes is being healthier and wearer cuter clothes. I have been thin and miserable in the past. I needed to learn that God made me who i am and learn to love me. I do like me now and I will not listen to anyone who was to tell me anything abusive. God made you and he doesn't make junk! Sending a prayer and hug your way take care of yourself!
    4740 days ago
  • JENHUFF
    Hun, I have to agree with hopeful. Let go of your past. Your ex OBVIOUSLY has his own issues. You deserved better. Only YOU & God can mend your self-esteem and just your overall self.

    Like hopeful said...you need to talk to your b/f and let him know what is going on with you. If you don't let him in he can't do his part as your friend and b/f to be there for you.

    Know that you are unconditionally loved by HIM and we are all here for each other. Keep your head up and smile! You are BEAUTIFUL girl!!

    Praying for you
    4740 days ago
  • HOPEFUL2DAY!
    Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. What your ex did to you is unacceptable. You are not those things and your weight (no matter what it is/was) does not define who YOU are.

    Have you told your b/f how your feeling? Communication is huge in a relationship. Hang in there...

    :) Blessings
    4740 days ago
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