I'm not doubting the scale...
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
So, I feel like I've just lost all control. I thought I was doing good. I was 145 and then 140! 5lbs of weightloss!!! David and I went to the mall last night to grab some Panera for dinner. I decided to hop on the scale at GNC to get a digital reading and print out.
It read 147lbs. :-(
ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY SEVEN POUNDS!!! WTF?! So David gets on the scale too. It tells him hes 150lbs. I KNOW he can't weigh that much. Not possible. So I feel a little bit better.
Until this morning.
I had to LAY DOWN... STOP BREATHING.... SUCK IT IN... then zip my pants.
I honestly am sick of my body.
It starts tonight. I'm done laying down and zipping my pants... i'm done not wanting sex because i'm fat. I'm done hating myself and punishing myself. I'm just done.
No more crap for food..i'm exercising DOUBLE EVERY FREAKING DAY.
I just cant do this anymore.. i'm so emotionally and physically drained by my whole outlook....