Friday, March 07, 2008
It's spitting snow over the Ouachita River as I write in front of my window. I have no other pressing obligations today other than to do my own "work", so I am trying to wrap my mind around the idea that I am actually free to accomplish something. Oh, joy!!!
I was thinking this a.m....if evolution means that a species survives by adapting itself to the realities with which it must live, eventually transcending them and perhaps even reshaping them, and passing on to posterity its acquired genetic strengths, intellectual insights, technological innovations, etc., why are we, in this "enlightened age", plagued with epidemic obesity and the resurgence of disease processes once thought to be eradicated, such as polio, small pox, and bubonic plague, and why do we lack the missing "links" in the evolutionary chain but retain the original progenitor species such as protozoa, apes, etc.? I am not a scientist...just musing.
The whole idea of "intelligent design" seems more rational to me...i.e., a "Creator" who has made the incredible spectrum of diversity throughout the time/space continuum with a view to shaping the cognitive human species through the process of struggle, questing, and faith. We certainly have to take responsibility for messing up our own planet and food supply so that we breathe polluted air, live on poisoned land, and eat synthetic food. We seem to think we're so smart and have our history all figured out, but we get fatter and weaker, more jammed together on the earth, more suspicious of each other, and more tired and in debt however fast we spin our wheels. This "God", having given us our world and our wits, and...if Christianity is to be credited...Himself, in the form of the God/man, Jesus, apparently refuses to manipulate us and force Himself on us, but while continuing to "call out" to His creation, still allows us the freedom to seek and find...or not. Nevermind that there are a lot of hyperactive pushy "believers" in multiple religious persuasions abounding. God may be more patient with them than their fellows are...just as He seems to be patient, if saddened, with our trashing ourselves and our habitat. We are perhaps being treated like "grown up children" who have moved out of the nest and have to be given the right to believe or not believe what this "parent/God" says is so.
Meanwhile, I'm grateful that today I had the strength to do 20 minutes of cardio on my Nordic Track (TM) and have been able to be consistent at around that level for two months now. (Some days, I can do a bit more, but so far, the CFIDS makes me regret it for days following, so I am thankful for consistency at the moment.) I had the food to fix a nutritious breakfast, the time and strength to stand in my kitchen and fix it, and I feel the "aliveness" that comes when my mind works well enough (I think!) to ask questions. Today, I am being allowed to work on my goals without interference, and in the work there is joy from the belief that as I work, there will eventually be realization and fulfillment. It is a good day.
Later: Had to come back and add a few thoughts. Today's motivational e-mail was appropriate in light of what happened just as I was finishing the foregoing paragraph. The fire alarms sounded throughout my apartment building and the entire building was evacuated into the freezing snowy drizzle while the fire department determined that an electrical fire had broken out in the maintenance shop on the first floor. We were all allowed to return "home" after a couple of hours, but my planned day of writing was effectively short circuited. I had cooking and household chores that needed to be attended to while I still had the strength to stand and walk and do them. So...
I just read the following:
"Do your dreams seem far away? Does the distance between you and the finish line deflate your motivation? Often we forget that goals and dreams are not achieved overnight, but rather in a series of small steps. Progress towards your goals should also be counted as victorious! Stop looking at the end result to bring you the greatest joy. Instead, celebrate the ways in which your life is gravitating towards that desired result. Nothing is guaranteed in life, so make the most of each day and persevere. Remember that the small things in life build up to the bigger ones."
This is to remind me that my life just has to be lived at a slower pace than that of most people, and that I must learn to take with gratitude the tiniest forward progresses...the exercise I've been able to do, the nourishing diet I'm able to eat, the fact that the building did not burn down with my computer and all my work! (and my warm bed!) I live to fight another day. Not everyone is so blessed.