February 28--Something is different this time

Thursday, February 28, 2008

I woke up this morning realizing something is different this time. I am not sure how to describe it, but I am going to try to put this all together.

For the first time in nearly five years, I feel good....really good. Today I don't feel like I am on a diet, but truly making a lifestyle change. I am an emotional sugar eater. The more things get difficult, the more I eat sugar. For the last five years I have been in a downword spiral that I couldn't seem to manage. Depression hit me hard...the more depressed I got, the more I sat on the couch and ate. The more weight I gained, the more depressed I got...until I was 2 pounds shy of being 300 pounds.

One morning I looked at the hand full of pills I had and realized everyone was for some weight related problem....GERD, hypertension, migraines, and depression. Over a year ago, I had a sleep study that showed severe sleep apnes. So not only was I eating poorly, I wasn't going through the normal sleep cycles.

When I turned 49 this year, I decided I was going to loose 50 pounds by the time of my 50th birthday. I fooled around for a couple of weeks trying different diet strategies, then when I was talking to a friend, I remembered sparkpeople from a past try. This time I have been reading everything I can find on SP. I went through the quick start phase and focused on eating habits rather than diet. I really focused on eating five fruits/veggies and drinking water. Once I felt like that was a good part of my routine, I have been biting off and tracking small life style changes. I am finally at a point where I am not craving sugar, and can easily pass a piece of cake up without the mental obsession. I cook routinely and obsessively record everything I eat. I am doing a very good job planning my food intake for the day out to make sure that I not only get the calories I need, but the nutrition I need as well.

I am to the point to start tackling a new challenge....consistent exercise. It is my goal for the month of March to get myself on a routine exercise program that will be become as part of my daily/weekly routines. My second goal is to make sure I am getting emough calcium. I always throught I was getting enought because I am a milk drinker, but indeed I have't been.

Many of the articles I have read have asked me to question myself on why I want to take the journey. There are many external reasons including my family and my appearance, but overall the best reason I can think of is that I want to feel good. I want to get up in the morning and smile. I want to laugh. I want to be there for others.

This time I have set smaller goals. Instead of focusing on the end of the 100+ pound marathon, I am focusing on trying to reach small intermediate steps. Also, I haven't put timeframes on weight loss goals. If for some reason this 49 year old body doesn't want to loose weight at the same pace that it used to, I am not going to put myself in a situation that makes me feel like a failure....every step forward is a success.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are approaching this much the same way as I did. I also was taking huge amounts of medication every day. By the time I was 35, I was taking a bag full of pills, sprays and inhalers. I was asthmatic, I have sleep apnea (I sleep with a C-pap every night), and the pre-cursor to hypertension. My joints hurt all the time, and I was having chest pains. I felt like an 80 yr old. It was no way to live.
    I too journal my food, read articles on SP, changed my whole way of looking at food. I blog regularly which is a necessity I think for the emotional eater, and I have joined a team and am active on it. I think that is important for a sucessful journey.
    My focus now has shifted from when my next meal is to helping others in their journeys. It has been nice to be able to quit focusing on me, and be able to be an inspiration to other people. I am so glad that I was able to inspire you, and if you need anything, please come by my page anytime. Good luck on your new exercising goal, and if you need any suggestions for exercises, I have one!

    4749 days ago
    Hi. You are going to continue to succeed because you are doing this right. You know it is a marathon, not a sprint. I like the breaking of the process into goals - seems effective and manageable. Best of luck to you!
    4751 days ago
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