I have to be honest
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Well, i had gotten down to 226 and was so excited to change my ticker. then, i crept back up to 230 and have been there for 2 weeks. i didn't want to change my weight on here, i didn't want to change my ticker.
but i need this change of life to be honest, and i have to be honest with myself. so, i changed my ticker back to 230 today, and i won't change it again until the scale goes down..or up, which might happen.
Besides, am i hoping to impress someone? no, i know if i'm fat or not, i don't need the stupid scale to tell me that. and as much as i'd like to "fake" being thinner, it ain't happening at the moment!!
i have to be able to look in a mirror without cringing, i need to honestly be able to state my weight, i need to honestly say that i went way over my calories for a day. if i keep lying about little things, that's not going to be healthy for me in the long run.
ugh- stupid being healthy and honest, why can't i just lie and be fat and lazy and pretend to be happy???? cause i'm better than that! HA HA