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September 2012 at 165 goal

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Me (at 279) and my three amazing kids...James age 9, Samuel age 21 months and Kaleigh age 15 1/2

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TRACYNOTGIVINUP is a SparkPeople Motivator!

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Hello Everyone, my name is Tracy. I have been having a hard time for the past several months now. Here are some of my numbers to try to shorten my description:

Joined SP in July 286 pounds.
In September of 2012, I hit my goal weight of 165 pounds.
In April of 2012 I began running and loved it.
In July of 2012, I ran from start to finish my first 5K. I still loved it.
In December of 2012, I ran each day for a total of 100 miles.
In April of 2013, I began wondering what I was aiming for. I had a hard time keeping my weight in check and wasn't looking forward to my running anymore.

Since then I have been struggling. I have gained about 30 pounds back. I am very unhappy with myself and seem to keep grasping on different things to try to find my lifestyle, but thus far nothing has worked. I have tried running again, but am still finding it feeling like a chore, probably because I am looking at it as a job/chore and I am mad at myself that I am not in the shape I was just a year ago. After months of doing this, I made some new years resolutions, figuring that had to work. I feel like I MUST know what I need to do. But they came crashing down around day 10. I suppose I should note here, I am a food addict and I am pretty sure I suffer from binge eating disorder. I have been thinking for days, I decided that the time I was happiest was when I was active on Spark. I believe it is because I always searched myself and came up with goals and plans to achieve them. I need to do something to keep myself in check. So, here I am back sparking. I also searched my thoughts about starting a new name or coming back to this one. It is kinda shameful to look at what I had done on this old name and feel like I let others but mostly myself down. But then decided that this is what I need to do, go back to this girl who lost the weight, who found the motivation and determination to follow through with making goals and setting plans. I decided it was truly time to live up to my name on spark.....


Member Since: 7/8/2011

Fitness Minutes: 40,738

My Goals:
Get back to my goal weight range of 163-168 pounds.

Find my love for running again.

Run a half marathon.

Get smaller and leaner, not skinny.

My Program:
Eat in my calorie range

Weight lifting 3x a week

Running/cardio 3x a week

Learn that it doesn't have to be all or nothing

Personal Information:
My name is Tracy.

I am 40 years old.

I live in Connecticut, USA.

I am married to my high school sweetheart, have been for 17 years.

I have 3 AMAZING children, Kaleigh, 18, James, 13 and Samuel 4 years.

Other Information:
I love:

my family
my friends
my new home
Big Bang Theory
UConn Huskies men basketball

Read More About TRACYNOTGIVINUP - Profile Information moved here. (Updated January 19)

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 current weight: 190.0 
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    Thanks for the add! I added you back. It's much easier if you start them out young like your 21 month old lol. My daughter was the same way. She loved lettuce and water at an early age but the older she became and the more choices we gave her ('do you want this or do you want that'?) the more I began to see her healthy habits slip. She's only 8 and within her healthy range for her age and height but we have been working on setting more boundaries on her snack choices. She could eat chocolate candy all day if you let her lol. She's a growing child, we know that but I think we have been giving her to many choices lol. She has been doing much better and have doing really well with making healthier choices. Keep on them, they'll thank you later:-)

    3576 days ago
    Thanks so much for the sparkgoodie! How was your weekend? Mine was pretty good. Wore my bikini to the pool Saturday lol. 1st time ever in 27 yrs lol. It took a lot of pushing from my husband and daughter, but they got me lol! We had a great time though!

    Forgot to thank you for commenting on my blog the other day also. I'm really hoping to keep this weight off for good. I hate yo-yoing (may have just created a word lol) and just want to be comfortable all the time. I know you can get your weight off and keep it off also. My husband and I was talking about that the other day. What usually happen with me is that, I'll loose the weight, get comfortable, start back eating how I was before and before long over time, I have gained the weight back. I have let life get in the way of helping me gain the weight back (no time to workout: stress). But not this time. I have already surpressed my usual breaking point which was after I completed 2 months:-) I am now on month 6 starting today! So I think that in it's self tells me I have grown and I can do this. On top of that I want my daughter to be as healthy as possible and to be able to use the examples being set by her dad and I in a positive way. My husband has also stepped up and decided to get himself back where he used to be. Believe me, when I tell you it want always be easy but you can do it for long haul. I really do believe that:-)

    Later emoticon
    3577 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/1/2011 11:16:47 AM
    Thank you so much for your comment on my blog! It really made me think. I love that your children are your motivation and that you want to show them a healthy lifestyle. That's an awesome goal! And I hear what you're saying about an honest support group. I think the same thing was happening to me, too. But when I finally buckled down and got serious, people started taking me seriously. The same thing will definitely happen for you. I can tell you that just having "met" you through SparkPeople, I can see your dedication and it is AWESOME.
    3587 days ago
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