September 2012 at 165 goal

Me (at 279) and my three amazing kids...James age 9, Samuel age 21 months and Kaleigh age 15 1/2




High Five

TRACYNOTGIVINUP is a SparkPeople Motivator!

See All SparkPeople Motivators
Shared Food & Fitness Trackers
Add as SparkFriend Send Private Message Leave Comment

Hello Everyone, my name is Tracy. I have been having a hard time for the past several months now. Here are some of my numbers to try to shorten my description:

Joined SP in July 286 pounds.
In September of 2012, I hit my goal weight of 165 pounds.
In April of 2012 I began running and loved it.
In July of 2012, I ran from start to finish my first 5K. I still loved it.
In December of 2012, I ran each day for a total of 100 miles.
In April of 2013, I began wondering what I was aiming for. I had a hard time keeping my weight in check and wasn't looking forward to my running anymore.

Since then I have been struggling. I have gained about 30 pounds back. I am very unhappy with myself and seem to keep grasping on different things to try to find my lifestyle, but thus far nothing has worked. I have tried running again, but am still finding it feeling like a chore, probably because I am looking at it as a job/chore and I am mad at myself that I am not in the shape I was just a year ago. After months of doing this, I made some new years resolutions, figuring that had to work. I feel like I MUST know what I need to do. But they came crashing down around day 10. I suppose I should note here, I am a food addict and I am pretty sure I suffer from binge eating disorder. I have been thinking for days, I decided that the time I was happiest was when I was active on Spark. I believe it is because I always searched myself and came up with goals and plans to achieve them. I need to do something to keep myself in check. So, here I am back sparking. I also searched my thoughts about starting a new name or coming back to this one. It is kinda shameful to look at what I had done on this old name and feel like I let others but mostly myself down. But then decided that this is what I need to do, go back to this girl who lost the weight, who found the motivation and determination to follow through with making goals and setting plans. I decided it was truly time to live up to my name on spark.....


Member Since: 7/8/2011

Fitness Minutes: 40,738

My Goals:
Get back to my goal weight range of 163-168 pounds.

Find my love for running again.

Run a half marathon.

Get smaller and leaner, not skinny.

My Program:
Eat in my calorie range

Weight lifting 3x a week

Running/cardio 3x a week

Learn that it doesn't have to be all or nothing

Personal Information:
My name is Tracy.

I am 40 years old.

I live in Connecticut, USA.

I am married to my high school sweetheart, have been for 17 years.

I have 3 AMAZING children, Kaleigh, 18, James, 13 and Samuel 4 years.

Other Information:
I love:

my family
my friends
my new home
Big Bang Theory
UConn Huskies men basketball

Read More About TRACYNOTGIVINUP - Profile Information moved here. (Updated January 19)

Shown if member clicks "Read More"
My Goals:

My Program:

Personal Information:

Other Information:

Personal Signature: (Shown after Message Board Posts)
Add a Link
Save Changes
My Ticker:
 current weight: 190.0 
Login to Leave Comment
    What a lot of work! I did not realize Conn had mountains. I guess they are a continuation of the Green Mountains? Or are they the Appalachian? T=Your dessert sounds yummy. I will have to try it. When you say coconut milk is it the kind in a can that is very thick? Or is it the kind in 1/2 gallon cartons with the silk or almond milk products? I spent the afternoon working in the yard. Since it is supposed to rain tomorrow through Tuesday, I wanted to get as much done as I could before the deluge. They are predicting an inch of rain. I now have a back ache from shoveling the veggie garden. I still have delicate dishes to wash but if I don't get to them today that is OK. Every thing else is washed and put away. Talk to you tomorrow.
    1540 days ago
    Hi! Congrats on Conn making it to the finals. I expect you are really excited.
    Yesterday was a very busy day but it came off really well. I was on the go all day and we had a really nice dinner with DD1, fiancé, matron of honor and her husband. As planned did not worry about calories. My morning weigh in was same as yesterday mornings and I am unofficially in one der land again. Will not change my official weight until May 1. Today I will finish up cleaning up from yesterdays dinner party. It will be pretty sunny so I intend to work a little in the yard since we are forecast for 2 more days of rain with up to 1 inch falling. I would like to see 3 days of sun in a row. Is that too much to ask? My forsythia are beginning to bloom and the neighbors magnolia is too. For the first time in many years the magnolia is so late that it might not lose its flowers to frost after a couple of days. I love magnolias but would not plant one because I would always be disappointed. DD2's bridesmaids dress is in so we may go pick it up depending on whether she has her homework done. I am feeling tired today so I may not get evrything done..
    Have a pleasant day!
    1541 days ago
    Good afternoon! We are having another dull cold mizzling kind of day. More autumn than spring. Did my long gym workout today followed by a trip to Costco. Now I should be continuing to clean my house, but while taking a break I am checking the computer. Since we are going to Fish Friday at church tonight I am not cooking. I have tracked tonight's dinner and have room for a sensible dessert that comes with the meal. I was not as hungry today. My protein intake yesterday was much higher than usual yesterday. I wonder if that is why I have not had to fight hunger today. I have switched out Greek yogurt for oatmeal in my breakfast which increases my protein by 20 grams. Tomorrow I have guests for dinner and have decided to make it a non tracking day. DD2 has a recital tomorrow afternoon too so it will be a busy day.
    What is riced cauliflower? It sounds interesting. I hope you have weather that will permit you to continue walking. Wouldn't it be nice if we had real spring weather. Costco had the most lovely gerber daisies today but with the horrible weather I could not think of buying any. Wishing you a lovely weekend!

    1543 days ago
    Hi! I have had a busy day and my back is aching right now. I am sitting here trying not to think about food. Dinner is late tonight because DD2 and DH have not come back from her Dr. appointment. It is sitting in the oven ready and the smell is driving me crazy. I have been continuously hungry all week. With my April goal of trying to lose 8 pounds I have to stay below 1550 calories. I know that seems like a lot but I am not happy with it. I much prefer eating around 1600-1700 calories.
    My workout today was not at my best effort. I just could not get my legs to move any faster. However Home Depot had a fantastic sale on mulch so we went back 3 times to get it. I ended up buying 50 bags and DH and I moved the first 2 loads of 20 bags each into the backyard. After lunch I went to the Korean market for veggies, then to a supermarket for odds and ends. Finally I stopped at Home Depot again for 10 more bags which I unloaded by myself. Now I need some non rainy weather so I can spread the stuff. It is calling for some rain just about every day with a threat of snow next Wednesday. I am beyond tired of snow in the forecast.
    It is now about an hour later than the above. DD1 called and then DD2 and DH came home and we had dinner. So I am now feeling much happier because dinner was very filling. I made a creamy chicken spinach enchiladas which was very low fat since it used no fat Greek yogurt instead of sour cream. The only added fat was the 1 Tbs of olive oil I sautéed the onions in. It was really satisfying. Desert was 3 strawberries and 2 slices of cantaloupe. I exceeded my calorie count by 21 calories.
    I am glad you are taking it slow with getting back into walking/running. Take your time and don't strain your knee. It will get better. It took me over 6 months to get to the point that I could use my knee the way I used to after my surgery. I am still careful and do not do anything high impact. My understanding is that torn ligaments are much harder to come back from than a fracture. I am sorry you are still having issues with your shoulder. Do you carry Samuel at all now? I know when I had toddlers I would have trouble with bursitis because of carrying them. Congrats on your team making it to the final four! I hope you enjoy the game. If you won't have fun going to your parents make up an excuse and don't go. You have watched the games with them at least twice. Be good to yourself! Talk to you tomorrow.

    1543 days ago
  • v KAREN2LOSE55
    Thanks for all your wrote, Tracy! I've been thinking more about being accountable with you, and we sure could as far as the food addiction. But as far as a lot of the other things like exercise, I really would fall way behind because of having Rheumatoid Arthritis and I can be encouraged somewhat with having it, but there wouldn't be any comparison to you, with your running and weight lifting. Something that I could never attempt. I get on my recumbent bike and pedal on that 10-40 min. 3x/week. I can walk up to 10 min. or so and then the pain comes. So I mainly get my exercise with the bike and then walking with shopping, (WalMart especially!!) and other stores. Our house is 3 floors so there's a lot of stairs to climb too every day. I try to move around and not just sit, although that's not always easy with having RA! I don't work out of the home either. I saw that you're like that too. The easiest part of my journey is water, water and carbonated zero calories waters, which I've gotten to love a lot! Breakfasts are easy. We pretty well fend for ourselves. Dinner is the hardest. We have a dairy farm and my DH and DS work hard and they like big meals and fattening too. I've tried making SP recipes with using light this and light that and they know, oh ya, they know! We have our own hamburger and it's very lean, like 95% . So that's what we eat most of. Chicken too. Portion control is my trouble and evenings are my trouble too. In the evenings, we fend for ourselves because the guys are milking cows and by the time they come in, they just want to snack on popcorn, etc. I'm trying to do better with good snacking in the evening. Lean protein, fruit, veggies, etc. So if you still want to try to help me with me having RA and trouble with exercise, write me back and we'll email. Texting is tough with working the little keys with the pain in my hands. Typing isn't so bad. Hugs to you, Karen
    1544 days ago
Member Comments (1111):  < Previous1234Next >Last >>