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5/04/13 296 lbs. When I want to a casting call for The Biggest Loser

Me when I was the "REAL" me. 1990

5/24/13 284 lbs. When I started Skinny Fiber & the Fat Flush


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Hi! I am Tammy and I am tired of being fat. I have decided to take control of my life and get healthy starting now!!! I started this awesome weith loss support group!

Join our awesome Group as we encourage each other on our journeys to a healthier lifestyle. Motivation, support, tips & tricks!

I am 41 married and have 3 beautiful children and a grand daughter. I want to see my children grow up. I want to have more fun with my family! I know I should be happy, but I feel like part of me is hidden. I think it is under all that fat. This year I am going to find it so I can be me again!
It is now or never, and for me it is NOW!!!! Funny thing is that I have had this account for 5 years now and still not reached my goal. I feel that is going to change this very moment.

Growing up I played all sports. I played volleyball, basketball, softball, did long jump, hurdles, & ran the 2 mile in track, and I was a cheerleader. When I was younger I popular, fun, very trendy, no fears and up for anything. I fell in love my sophomore year and married the love of my life after high school. I gained 20 pounds after I got out of school due to not having practice or a game everyday. Then each time I got pregnant I gained a lot of weight and did not lose much weight in between pregnancies. We chose to give up material things so that I could stay home and raise our kids with our morals and values and not that of a babysitter or daycare. After all I couldn't trust my precious babies to just anyone. I wanted my children to have their best start in life and I also wanted them to be safe. I was very protective and wanted to give them the world. I wanted to do everything for them. I was a bit of an overachiever at being a mommy. Unfortunately for me this meant I did everything for them and nothing for myself anymore. I always made sure that they were taken care of and had everything that they needed. I dressed them in really cute clothes and my kids always looked sharp. As for me the girl who in school always matched and dressed very trendy, she was gone. I didn't care if my clothes matched and sweatpants became my new norm. I put my hair in an unattractive ponytail/bun thing that my husband called a wood killer. Apparently I was really turning him on...NOT! Tammy ceased to exist. I was no longer Tammy Farrell I was now just Brooklyn's mom, or Montana's mom, or Monty's wife. Friends asked me to go out, but I did not want to leave my precious babies. Eventually friends quit asking because they already knew the answer. I raised the first two kids and when they went to school I got back out in the workforce for a little bit. We moved and sold our house so I told Monty that I wanted to take part of the money and pay to get help because I couldn't lose the weight on my own. After all I had been trying for years now. I started a weight loss program that was very well supervised. I had to go in and get weighed 3 times a week. I like the staff there and didn't want to disappoint them. I did not cheat on this diet for almost a year. I mean no bite here or one taste there. I did not cheat at all. I was always so excited to go back in and see how much weight I had lost. A spot came open there and they really liked me and offered me a job. They said I was great for business because the patients could see me lose the weight and relate to me. I loved being a weight loss counselor and I was good at it. The patients loved me & I loved them. We inspired each other. They came in and would sit and wait a long time just for me to be the one who weighed them and went over their plan with them. I loved the job and felt like I was getting paid to lose weight. Everything was going good and I had lost 100 pounds. I was looking so much better and I felt healthy again. I had a talk with Monty and told him that I did not want to get pregnant again after I got down to my goal weight. I asked him if he wanted anymore kids or if we were done. To my surprise he said he would like one more. I quit taking my birth control pills and within a month I was pregnant. So along came Caymun. Unfortunately the weight loss place I used to work at had gone out of business and here I was with weight to lose. I tried everything known to man. So I stayed home again and raised Caymun to school age. I was forced into the workforce again and I was unhappy with my weight and felt very self-conscious. Me being unhappy with my weight made it hard for me to feel comfortable looking for a job that I would really like. Honestly I have done about everything possible job wise. I can't seem to find a job that makes me happy, because I am unhappy with myself. I'm always afraid that all people see is a fat lady who has no self-control. So why would they want to hire her? What is sad is that I am an intelligent person and would love to be able to do something that makes me happy everyday. Growing up I had a lot of potential. I feel like I did not live up to any of it. I love sports, I mean LOVE sports. I used to love playing it, now since I am fat I just love watching it. I am very passionate about my teams. A lot of my friends say I should have been able to do some job involving sports. Since I am overweight I do not see how that is possible. I need a job that I am passionate about and I want to help others. I want my career to be doing something that matters. I made decent money when I was a CSR at a check cashing/loan place. Problem was I felt I was only hurting people instead of helping them. They were getting further in debt, we were not helping them. I left because I did not feel that was the place to be even though the money was decent. I often feel that if I could just get me fixed life will all fall into place. I think I would make a great trainer. By doing that I would help others and insure that I would stay healthy and have that accountability which I desperately need. I would work out with my clients and we would all be healthy. I LOVE competition; I love to win. I just need a little help and that one lucky break. I feel like I could be and do so much. I feel that if I could get fixed I would be a good story and that I could then help others write their story as well. I want to be the me that I was supposed to be and I truly want to help others. I feel this is definitely my calling. My mom and I had always talked about applying for The Biggest Loser. Every time I printed out the application and got serious about it she got scared. She wanted to lose weight, but she was scared that The Biggest Loser would be too hard for her to do. Looking back now I wish that I would have just filled it out and sent it in anyways. If I had she might still be alive today. My mom died 3 years ago and this was a huge shock to us. She went to the ER because she was having trouble breathing. In just 3 short weeks we found out she had a lung disease and the only cure was a lung transplant. We were told she was a great candidate for a lung transplant and that she would be put at the top of the list. They quickly located one and we were waiting on a transfer to a different hospital where they were going to do the lung transplant. We were excited as this is the only thing that could save her life. Then out of nowhere we got word that there would be no transfer and no lung transplant. We were devastated, I was devastated. The only way my mom could live is if she had a lung transplant. I wanted to know why. Why had we been teased and promised this and then have the rug pulled out from under us. I got my answers. I was told that after further review and even though there was nothing else wrong with my mom, she was only 58 and had no other health problems they wouldn't give her the transplant because she was overweight. She weighed 300 pounds. She died because she weighed too much. They said that their studies showed that smaller people had a better recovery rate. Too fat=you die. So if I would have made my mom fill out our application to The Biggest Loser she might still be alive today. How sad is that? I feel guilty about this everyday. If only I hadn't brought her so much fattening and sweet foods. If only we would have kept using the Wii fit. If only I would have asked her to go on a walk more often. If only I would have lost the weight and then she would have been inspired to lose the weight too. I will always have to live with these "what ifs" for the rest of my life. I do not want my children to live with the same "what ifs" about me if I die unexpectedly. My children have always been my life. My oldest, my daughter Brooklyn is a collegiate athlete. She got a softball scholarship to MSSU. I love going to watch her play softball. She just finished her Junior year. She is 21 and still lives at home with us. My oldest son Montana is 18. He just moved out because him and his girlfriend just had their first child in December. So I am a grandma to beautiful little Maelee. He just got a really good job that he could turn into a career. I am so happy for him. My youngest son Caymun is 10. They say the youngest one has it the easiest, not sure if this is the case for Caymun. I see mistakes I made in raising the first two, so I have a chance to fix that with Caymun. I do fear for him though because he does not like vegetables and he eats too much fast food. I try to get my family to eat healthier, but every time I do they complain and I always give in. Then we get back to the fast foods and the sweet treats. I am honestly scared for my whole family because I know we eat too much fast food and processed food. I'm scared for how this will affect us in the future. I want them to live a long, healthy, happy life. I also want this for myself. Right now I am not living life. I am just wasting another day that I am alive. I am ready to live life and make the most of it. Truth is I just need a little help. I have a wonderful husband, but he has survived a couple of accidents that he probably shouldn't have. In 1992 he got his foot caught in a grain auger. If there hadn't been a chip spot on that auger he would nave probably lost his leg or died right there in the elevator. He is so lucky to still be alive and to still have his leg and foot. Then in 2003 a crane landed on my husband. He should have never survived this accident either. It landed on his head and folded him in half like a wallet. And all this happened on April Fool's day. When I showed up at the ER the doctor was in shock. He came in and told me that he could only tell me that apparently it wasn't my husband's day to die. He was baffled as to how Monty had survived the crane. Even at the accident site when the police and firefighters showed up a cop said that he thought Monty was dead and there was no reason to lift the crane off him. Then Monty let out a gasp of air and the firefighter screamed to get the jaws of life. They used them and then the firefighter said that he was purple and started unfolding when they got the crane off of him. Caymun was a baby when this happened so I was at home taking care of Caymun and now Monty too. I had to lift him out of bed everyday. He had a lot of work ahead of him and so did I. We were definitely suffering a money hardship at that time. We are blessed with awesome family and friends and their generous hearts got us through this. The company obviously had some wonderful lawyers because we never got a dime from the company over the crane accident. We have always managed to chug along no matter what life throws at us. I will say that I do think it is hard to eat healthy with not so much money. It is so easy to eat off the Dollar Menus. I have not really ever cared about material things, but I do wish we could afford to eat healthy all the time. I feel that this could change my whole life! I just need a jump start for my life to change. I can't really put it everything into words, I just know that I need to follow through and finish. I do think people can relate to me and cheer for me. I think I could go on and inspire others and live the life I have always dreamed about living. I love my family and I want to live a long life to be with them and take care of them. It is Tammy Time!!!! My highest weight was 326. I am now under 300 and am gonna keep chugging along until I get to my goal weight!

Member Since: 1/24/2008

Fitness Minutes: 719

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  • v 1MOKAREN
    Hi Tammy! I also live in Webb City. Maybe we could get a walk group together or something sometime. Welcome emoticon
    1838 days ago
    Hello I'm Esther. I want to welcome you to Spark People New YOU Bootcamp Program. I'm pleased to meet you.
    3410 days ago
  • v ~*~*LISA*~*~
    * . + * Just * + .
    + . . * + . + * . * +
    * . + * sprinklin' * + .
    + . . * + . + * . * + .
    + , * your * + * page *
    + . . * + . + * . * + .*
    . * * + . * with * .
    + .* some * + * * . + * .
    . * + * * + . *+ *
    + * .. smiles.. * + . +
    + . . * + . + * . * +
    + .* and * + * * . + * .
    . * + * * + . *+ *
    + * .. Happiness.. * + . +
    + . . * + . + * . * ++ .*
    ** * + * * . + * .
    . * + * * + . *+ *
    + * .. 2009!!!.. * + . +
    + . . * + . + * . * +

    I hope you have a most wonderful New Year!

    emoticon ~*~*LISA*~*~

    Spreading the Spark Love with Sprinkles, Smiles & A New Blog :)
    3455 days ago
    Hi there! My name is Tammy and I live in Joplin. If you would like a buddy, please feel free to send me a message!

    Check out my page for more of my details. Hope to hear from you soon!
    3506 days ago
    Congrats on your new beginning! We are in the same boat sister. I was a cheerleader in high school and now am 300 plus pounds. I too am done being this me in a fat suit. Message me if you need a buddy, I live in Joplin and just started going to the Joplin Y south. Good luck on your journey. emoticon
    3673 days ago
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