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Translated the page title says "To My Last Breath" in Latin.

The phrase is two fold in its importance to me.

First it's a reminder to stick to the basics, not get too complicated in life and when they do to go back to the beginning. Secondly the words are a reminder that nothing is finished, no fight is lost, nothing is out of reach until the last breath is breathed.

I have made many decision and choices in my life that were regrettable to the point they ached to my very soul, broke my heart and nearly my spirit. Yet through each one I found the strength to endure and persevere and here I am heart and spirit still in tact.

I found forgiveness of others and mostly myself was a key to finding my strength.

In July 2008 I lost my beloved mother at the age of 60 to Lou Gherig's Disease. Looking back over her extraordinary life she conquered fears and feats most would find insurmountable. Through it all the one thing she never did very well was take care of herself. It would seem an aversion to exercise runs on the maternal side of my family.

Big hips, flabby abs and these strange bags of fat that hang at the knees seem to have been passed along the genetic line along with eyes and hair and an innate sixth sense.

As the old song goes, "I'm too young for feeling this darn old."

I truly lost my "SPARK" for life. I've let my dreams go and found myself wasting every day in front of a computer; stuck in a perpetual Groundhog Day. Each one was the same as the last.

When I found SparkPeople initially in 2008 I still wasn't ready for the change. It was still about my physical appearance. I was still lying to myself about my motivations.

I've never been one to want much for myself but after 30 years of wanting to "like" my smile I finally treated myself to braces for my birthday in July 2007. They came off in September 2009. It felt amazing to do something so important TO me, FOR me, myself!

For the first time in my life I was able to look in the mirror and really smile and feel happy. It wasn't until recently I realized, if I can do that for my smile why can't I do that for the rest of my body?

The answer was obvious;

Because I didn't want it as much.

It's been easy to hide my figure with my height (I'm 5' 8") and with clothes. I'm not over weight (right at 149) but sadly out of shape. Walking up stairs takes my breath away. My skin lacks luster, my eyes have dark circles, I'm tired all the time and I constantly ache due to lack of strength.

Food rarely sounds good and when I do eat it's usually something completely lacking nutrition; mostly high in processed sugar and fat.

I fell off SparkPeople the first time after six weeks when I wasn't making any gains and realized I had started the wrong program. I tried it again two other times after that and didn't stick to it.

April 2010 something kicked in. I can't even place it. Maybe it was finally being tired of being tired or perhaps sick of seeing a roll pop from my pants every time I buttoned them up.

I'm back on Spark and this time is about changing my life. My lifestyle, my way of thinking, my way of eating, my choices every day.

It's time for a $6 million me - - better, stronger, faster.

I know in order to succeed I need to work on my spirit as well as my body. I also know I will fail but I will try again. I will fall down but I will get back up and start over. I will fight, I will persevere and I will keep going until...

"Ut meus permaneo spiritus"

For my story follow this link to my blog post:


Live Strong, Live Long, Live Happy


Member Since: 2/21/2009

Fitness Minutes: 3,111

My Goals:
~ Meditate 30 minutes daily

~ Do those body weight exercises - YES WE DO LOVE SQUATS! :)

~ Practice my Xingi - Chi Gung
every day!

~ Laugh, often and outloud.

~ Focus on the goal, not the setbacks

~ Feed the mind and spirit as well as the body

~ Feel the sunshine even when it's raining

~ Leave the baggage behind.

My Program:
Spark makes it easy, I make it happen.

The best thing is to focus on what's realistic and the positive. Knowing my thoughts are my power and through them my direction will be determined.

Personal Information:
Turning Fabulously 40 in July!!

3 boys, 18, 16 and 11

14 years into my second marriage with a husband who loves me, curves and all.

A veteran of the United States NAVY.

A writer/screenwriter/director at heart (if not in reality)

After spending 35 years in "religion" and always feeling it was missing the mark I found what I was looking for in Taoism.
The Tao Te Ching provided me with a broader view and better direction and understanding of God, the universe and my place in it and here on Earth.

Being it is not a religious text I found greater freedom and direction in my spiritual journey. Shrugging off the veil of "religion" and focusing in my journey with God, aka The Tao I now am more tolerant, kind & accepting of others and have never felt closer to my creator.

Other Information:

Health Calculators:

~ STAYING MOTIVATED FORUM ~ http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/m

Read More About TARACONKLIN - Profile Information moved here. (Updated May 4)

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    I hope you have a most wonderful New Year!


    3210 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/31/2010 11:18:39 PM
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    Strength is something you don't know you have until it's tested. Take a moment today to look at the challenges you face in your life. Then reward yourself for your daily strength and courage. You are amazing and I am blessed to have you on this journey with me. May your challenges continue to teach you to be your best and may you find a way to take pride in them.

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    3311 days ago
  • v LAILA07
    Just stopping in to say "Have a wonderful week ahead"!
    3384 days ago
    Hey! I'm inviting all my friends to set a goal of how many fitness minutes you can do in July. Come join the fun and set your goal with us: http://bit.ly/d7SISA

    I have learned that it's amazing how much you can achieve when you have a goal to work toward!
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    3393 days ago
    Haven't seen you around in a while--hope all is well!
    3397 days ago
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