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The Downward Spiral:

In 2011, my husband and I decided to separate. Luckily, nothing bad happened to cause this, we just grew apart, but it was still a devastating thing for me, and it took me a long time to deal with and get over it. A lot longer than I ever thought it would, especially since I did know that this was the right decision for us. It still sucked though. Prior to this point in my life, I was healthy, active, and loved life. Once I became separated, I gained 50 lbs in less than a year, ate nothing but fast food, and lost all motivation to do anything. Turns out most of my friends were the girlfriends/spouse of my ex, and not really my friends, something I hadn’t realized until we split. So that was also pretty depressing. Definitely the low point in my life.

The Long, Hard Road to the Top:

It took me most of 2013, but I finally talked about wanting to change the direction of my life enough that I actually was able to start doing something about here in 2014. I did sporadically try off and on in between these times, but you know what they say; only you can want to change, nobody can do it for you. My heart apparently just wasn’t on board yet. It is now though, so I’m slowly but surely making changes.

I started doing Crossfit classes in February, and I love them! The thought of having to be a gym monkey to get back into shape was probably one the least motivating things I had to overcome. Lucky for me though, shortly before Christmas, my cousin introduced me to Crossfit, and I immediately knew that was the thing for me! Now I didn’t have to go to the gym, run on a treadmill while trying to not to go crazy from boredom, or mindlessly cycle through all the weight lifting machines (free weights were not an option, I didn’t want to hurt myself because I didn’t know what I was doing). I can go to my Crossfit class, and do something different every time (with the exception of box jumps and burpees… those seem to be way too popular!). I’m definitely not up to being able to pull-ups by myself, but I can use the bands to get me to that point; I’ve already gone down a couple of bands, and am that much closer! Everything is scaleable, so I can actually do everything. The long-term goal is to be able to everything at the Rx’d level… that will be a super exciting day for me!

In ‘discovering’ Crossfit, I’ve also discovered Paleo of course; they seem to go hand in hand. After doing tons of research into it, I decided that for the most part, this was an extremely practical approach to food. It makes sense to me that people should eat food that hasn’t been processed to death and stuck in a bag or a box with more unpronounceable ingredients than pronounceable ones. I love meat, so that’s easy; vegetables are a lot harder though, in my mind, that’s what food eats! Very slowly, I’m trying to incorporate them into my meals. Fruits are fairly easy for me, but I’d rather make a smoothie and drink them than eat them… I’m not really sure why that is, but at least I get them into me without a struggle. I know that strict Paleo says no cheese, but I’ll never be able to give up cheese, and I don’t ever see myself wanting to. I’ll stick with the 80/20 rule once I get to the point where the fast food addiction I’ve developed since my separation has been fully kicked to the curb. Unfortunately, this seems to be the hardest thing for me to do… you can’t convince me that fast food isn’t addicting. Even though I proactively make a whole bunch of meals at time & freeze them in single serving containers for easy meals, it still seems that going out to grab Wendy’s is easier… there’s definitely a problem here. On the up-side though, I’ve gone from eating almost exclusively fast food all the time down to about 60-70% of the time, so at least I’ve made some progress there; better than nothing I guess. This is the most helpful about SparkPeople for me: it’s making me accountable to what I’m eating… it really sucks when I have to enter that I’ve eaten 2 fast food meals in one day, so I make a conscious effort to quit doing that!

The Light at the End of the Tunnel:

I know that I’ve only just begun the battle, but I do have a clear path laid out, and there’s light at the end of it! And if I just take things day by day, hopefully I won’t get caught up in the set-backs and failures that I know will happen; there’s always tomorrow. As long as there are more success than failures, the end-game can be achieved!

Member Since: 11/22/2012

My Goals:
The general goal is too lose weight & increase stamina.
There's a whole lot of little goals on the way :)

Goal #1 - Stop eating fast food

Goal #2 perform Wod's at Rx

My Program:
Right now is step one:
track foods, learn what I'm doing wrong & fix it. At the same time, working harder and getting better at my CrossFit classes.

Personal Information:

Other Information:
Lose weight in the kitchen.
Get fit at the gym.

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 current weight: 170.9 
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