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Updated February 9, 2011
2010 was a tough year, and I admit, I lost my way a bit. I stopped logging part way through, and with the divorce, med changes, moves and job uncertainty, I let it get to me. I gained 7 pounds, even while training, and I really started hating myself. I had a wake up call, I am not really large, but my BMI is almost obese. I am a triathlete and runner, and I am almost obese. I know part of it is the meds, and figuring out menopause at 39, but I also have to admit that I lost my way, and am not taking care of myself. So I am back, to get my body fat down and care for myself again. I know that excess fat is bad for my breast cancer risk, and I want to do whatever I can to not be there again, and I want to feel good when I look in the mirror. I have lost my way, I have lost that feeling, and I am here to get it back.

Update June 8, 2009

I have been quiet for the last few months, absorbing what has happened and healing from surgeries and treatments. Things are finally starting to feel better. After some dark times, I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I have discovered determination and resolution through this experience. I decided that I cannot give up on my goals just because cancer came into my life. I have some triathlons scheduled and am teaching this summer. I hope I can find my way to a new, and better, normal. I am back to find the health and wellness I need to enjoy this life that I have fought so hard to keep over the past year. And it has officially been a year. It is good to be here, to be alive.

Well, it is almost time to say I am 37. I have never been so glad for another birthday, even if it means that I am a year older. I have almost made it through radiation, and have to admit that it is truly testing my resolve to keep a positive outlook. However, as I tell myself everyday after treatment, one more down and one less to go. Even though it is only four days into 2009, I have had a good start to the year, having run a 5K on New Years morning. I can even check growing some hair and eyelashes off my list (it is short, but growing like a weed). I am still working on being kind to myself and being in the moment, even when I think the moment is not that great, and especially when it is wonderful. My goals are still to stay active, help my body heal, and reduce my body fat to keep cancer at bay. I think that I am making good progress, even if some days I am not so sure. I am just glad to be here one more day, with my husband, family, and friends, to figure it all out.
I am 36 years old and am fighting breast cancer. It seems like it is such a common thing now, to hear that someone is fighting cancer. I joined this community to strengthen my resolve to be healthy and active, to provide my body with the support it needs to fight and heal. I have a long road ahead of me, but have made it through this so far with my sense of humor and positive outlook intact. While I have lost my hair and my eyelashes, I have to say I look pretty good bald, so much so, that quite a few people think I shaved my head to make a fashion statement. I hope I can reach my goals, and grow some hair, through all this, but I also hope I can learn to be kind to myself and embrace the setbacks along with the victories.

Member Since: 10/27/2008

Fitness Minutes: 60,134

My Goals:
I want to loose the weight I gained last year and build some muscle. After all the surgery, my body is so different, I just do not feel like me anymore. I want to get past that feeling, and feel good about my body and what it can do.

My Program:
I am training for triahtlon, and will follow a program that includes swim, bike, run and stregth training each week.

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