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My name is Rachel and I, like a lot of people here on the Spark, have been struggling with weight my whole life.

In 2011, I lost my twin daughters after going into pre-term labor. At 21 weeks, my precious angels were too small to have any chance of survival. I left the hospital almost 20 pounds lighter and with two pieces of my heart forever missing. Since then, I have been unable to get motivated to do much of anything let alone work on getting back to the healthy lifestyle I worked so hard to achieve. Food is my comfort, my protection from life. Parents should never have to know the pain of burying their children and food is my way of dealing with this pain.

Over the past 6 years since losing my girls, I have tried to get back into a healthy lifestyle many time but haven't been able to stick to anything consistently. I managed to lose about 60 lbs at one point almost entirely due to a new medication I started to help with focusing that also curbs appetite. However, I have since put on almost half of that weight.

In 2017 it finally hit me that I am turning 30 and have basically given up on life. I am slowly making changes to overcome this and my health is a big part of that. So, here I am back on SparkPeople and hoping to actually start living life once again!

I am returning to SparkPeople for help, support and encouragement. Believe me when I say, I need as much help as people can give to do this again when just getting out of bed everyday is such a struggle. I truly appreciate any help/support anyone can offer.

My Done Statement:
*added March 2012*
I am (trying to be) done worrying over the petty things...life truly is short and those things don't matter in the long run.

I am done being the "fat" girl.
I am done walking into a room and looking to make sure I wasn't the biggest girl there.
I am done talking and thinking negatively about myself.
I am done making excuses.
I am done avoiding things because of my weight.
I am done worrying about how others will judge me because of my weight.
I am done worrying about what other think.
I am done hiding behind dark clothes.
I am done comparing myself to to others.
Most of all
I am done thinking I can't do this!

Member Since: 9/28/2009

Fitness Minutes: 9,655

My Goals:
-Live a healthier lifestyle...
-more water
-Less Soda
-Staying within my ranges at least M-F and working on wkds too.
-Incorporate exercise into my daily routine so it doesn't feel like such a chore.
-Long Term: Lose a total of 70 lbs the right way!

My Program:
These are long term goals, I will have to start out slow again:
-at least 30 mins of cardio a day
-completing a basic strength routine at least 2 days/week
- Eating healthy 80% of the time!

Personal Information:

Other Information:

"If it isn't worth trying your best, then it isn't worth doing at all." ~My grandfather.

Read More About RJC246 - Profile Information moved here. (Updated September 4)

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