PAMMAX64
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3/10/2010 - Photo taken by my nearly 9 year old!


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Okay I'm back on spark. It's work for me in the past but I have not stuck with it. I am heavier than I ever have been in my life. I quit smoking 5 years ago, I was Heavy already but in the past five years I have gained about 60 lb. My addiction went from nicotine to food. I'm not in denial and I've realized this for about 3 years. But the thought of tackling it is just... Well terrifying. I start out the day thinking I'm going to do better and end up the day eating a bag of chips, not the small ones either. I don't even realize that I'm putting the food in my mouth anymore. I had some rock bottom moments recently. The people in my office were fat shaming someone else in my office who is about my size. She was out of the office at the time. They "don't care about her size unquote but it's just all about her health." I can only imagine when I'm out of the office they say the same things about me. My husband and I are redoing Our Deck and because I have zero cartilage in my knees and they hurt all the time, I was not the help to him that I usually am. He couldn't have been more sweet but I felt awful that I wasn't able to fully participate and kick the deck's butt like I normally would. Besides the fact that the weight is not helping my knees, it also makes knee replacement out of the question. My BMI is too high. My kids are in high school one is getting ready to graduate. Some friends of ours, whose daughter is also graduating, asked us to go on a trip to Disney World with them celebrate the graduations. We love the idea and are so excited about going. My youngest daughter's reaction was that she was really excited about us going but she was worried about me walking around Disney World because of my knees. I am secretly terrified of the trip also for the same reasons but also because of me being so fat I do not tolerate heat well and I'm afraid I won't fit are most of the rides. So I'm back on spark. I've looked up online OA meetings. Something has to change. I can do this! ========================== Here I am again. Can I do it this time? I was doing so well last time. But, gained it all back plus more. My decision to quit smoking took me to a new high on my weight. I need to get into control. Quitting smoking was the most difficult thing I have ever done. If I can do that, I can quit eating everything in sight and do some moving instead of laying on the couch all the time. I am feeling like Jaba The Hut. From 2010: Well, this is a test, this is only a test. I am trying this for the hundredth time. I am not psyched up, I didnt prepare. Just sort of started logging in the food today, watching what I put in my mouth, walked .5 mile for the first time in 6 months, drank 4 bottles of water. I actually feel really good tonight. So, this is day 1. Let's see if I can make it through day 2-even though day 1 was not really day 1 since it was not planned. DAY 13 - 10 LBS GONE!!! One month - 15 LBs Gone and I am still Sparkin'! Day 43 - 20 lBs Gonzo Alonzo! Day 66 - 25 lbs down!

Member Since: 8/6/2008

Fitness Minutes: 15,741

My Goals:
I want to stop being forced to shop in the "Big Girls" section!

Not to get winded going up the stairs in the house

To be able to cross my legs without effort.

To get a job closer to home.

To raise two happy girls who do well in school and are well rounded.

To pay for at least 2 years of the girls' college


My Program:
Logging in my food

Moving

Trying to make better choices while not feeling deprived

Not letting the setbacks I am bound to have derail me from making my goal!



Personal Information:
I have lived in:
Olean, NY
Scranton, PA
DC Metro area
Oklahoma City
Denver
Fredericksburg, VA

I have two daughers and a wonderful, supportive husband.


Other Information:
My hobbies are scrapbooking, jewelry making, baking with my kids, playing games with my girls.

I am trying to like the treadmill and using the step to my own music.




Read More About PAMMAX64 - Profile Information moved here. (Updated October 11)




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My Ticker:
 Pounds lost: 14.6 
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25.5
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76.5
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Comments
  • v PCASAS4802
    Roller skating? You're brave!!!! You're a better woman than me! Hope it was fun!
    3435 days ago
  • v SANDI521
    Hey Pam thanks for the note. I was in a two day event in Richmond and even managed to loose a little weight and I played well the second day.
    Hope you are doing well and enjoying spring. With this rain I will need to barrow a tractor to mow my lawn...just kidding but it sure is growing fast. Sandy
    3464 days ago
  • v FITMARY
    Hope you had a great, relaxing weekend. Let's make this week the best it can be!
    emoticon
    3470 days ago
  • v CORKYTHEMOM
    Pam, thank you for dropping in and responding to my blog. Because, you understand what I'm going through, I'm hoping we can become friends and help one another throughout our jouney. Please let me know. Always here with moral support and hugs.

    ~ Monika ~
    3471 days ago
  • v SEWSWITHHOTGLUE
    Thanks for the warm welcome to Friends in Fredericksburg! Yes, safety pins, hot glue, even duct tape in a pinch -- I really should just learn to sew . . .

    Have a wonderful weekend! emoticon
    3473 days ago
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