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Halloween 2008

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Hello to all, my name is Nicole. I am a fun loving girl from Arizona. I am here to get support from fellow spark friends while going through this amazing weight loss journey ahead of me.
Ahhhhh where to begin. I was not always fat. For most of my childhood I was trim. I started really packing on the pounds my eight grade year, after my parents divorce. I did not care what people thought about my weight gain, because I accepted it. I used food as comfort, and it helped until my weight spun out of control. My senior year of high school I was the largest I had ever been. I was no longer so accepting of my weight gain because I felt like I was a mess. I wanted some kind of attention from my parents. I never talked to my dad, and when I did it was always about my weight. I lived with my mom, but she was so busy with boyfriends. So in 2000 I decided to drastically drop a ton a weight by starving my self, and abusing diet pills. I lost 90 pounds in four months. I lost my gallbladder because of it. I had to seek help for my out of control weight issues. The end result was never how I imagined it would be. I got attention alright, but it was not the attention I thought i would of got. My mom and dad, nor my sister were not praising- but punishing me for what I had done. I had to take a hard look at my life and really deal with some underlining issues I had. I used food as a way to control that, because I felt like that was something I could control.
I started eating and working out. I spend more time with my family minus my dad, well I call him Jack.
I felt great for the first time in a long time. I felt like I really had my life under control.
Then in 2002 my mother took her own life, and I went off the deep end. I slowly began to let the weight creep back up on me about two years after she died. I was trying to find love in all the wrong places because I just so badly wanted to find someone to take away all the pain. I did not find him, so I turned to food.
Food wont bring her back, I would tell myself, but I was just so sad. I had gone from 125 to 214 in the matter of a few short years. When I thought there was no hope left with my battle. I met someone!
I met my boyfriend in 2006. He accepts me for who I am, and loves me not matter what. I believe that he is my angel! He is on the heaver side so we are doing this together. I want to promote a positive lifestyle. Eating right, exercising, and love :)
But.......With love comes those happy pounds! I had managed to balloon up to 258 pounds. We started to recently discuss marriage, and the possibility of one day having kids. I decided that I can raise a family want to change for me!
I need the love and support from fellow friends to help me along this journey.
My best friend in the whole wide world Lindsay is a big timer on here :) She is famous for the goals she has met. She is my inspiration to take on this total life change!

Member Since: 5/7/2008

Fitness Minutes: 88

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    Oh honey. It takes a lot to put yourself out there like that. I imagine it was pretty hard for you BUT you've taken another step in the right direction. This website and all the people on here are amazing. I attribute most of my success to sparkpeople. Yes, I have hard days but it's the big picture.

    I'm with you now and always!!!

    Love you sis!

    3978 days ago
    emoticon to Spark People!
    Good Luck on your Weight Loss Journey emoticon

    emoticon emoticon MaryAnn emoticon emoticon


    "If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems. And that's a big mistake." Frank Wilczek

    3979 days ago
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