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A few years ago, I came back on Spark People for what I thought was the last time, determined to stick with it. I was doing really well, but then I got in my own way again. It was very disheartening for me, and I became very depressed.

I realized for the first time, that I was the problem. I let my desire for junk food and my discomfort with change take over. I allowed myself to accept being fat. It was horrible. I was at a real low point in my life.

My best friend had had Gastric Bypass surgery the year before, and she had lost a ton of weight. I was happy for her and jealous all in the same blow. I had a really negative view of weight loss surgery for a long time because I felt like it was cheating. I know a lot of people feel this way as well. After a life time of struggling with my weight and failure, I had to ask myself some very hard questions.

Through much introspection and soul searching, along with a massive amount of research and therapy sessions, I decided to explore weight loss surgery.

It was not an easy decision for me. I still felt like I was cheating. When push came to shove however, I had to admit that what I really wanted was to be healthy, and I needed help to accomplish that. Weight loss surgery is not for everyone. It's a personal choice, and it is by no means an easy road. I understand now that you still must eat right and exercise to lose weight. The surgery is simply a tool to help you.

I understand that some people will not believe this and still think it's cheating, and that's okay. I don't blame them for thinking that. I did at one time too. For me, weight loss surgery was the right choice. For you, it may be something else.

It's been 4 years since my surgery. I lost 160 lbs. total, then put back on about 20. I am looking to lose that 20 pounds again and gain muscle. My goal is more to tone more than anything else.

Member Since: 6/12/2010

Fitness Minutes: 2,880

My Goals:
Stick with a regular exercise routine for at least 90 days.

My Program:
Yoga, dance, hiking, and strengthening challenges.

Personal Information:
I'm 36 and separated from my husband of 14 years. I have a 15-year-old son with my ex, who is the best part of my world. I work a lot at a job I love, and don't get out much unfortunately.

Other Information:

Read More About MISTRESSOFPROSE - Profile Information moved here. (Updated May 28)

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    Your blog led me to your spark page and I just wanted to let you know that reading your introduction/about you section really touched my heart and encouraged me!
    3194 days ago
    Thinking of you and hope that you are well. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3195 days ago
    Thank you for the Valentine!! emoticon I hope you had a great Valentine's day, too! emoticon
    3200 days ago
    Im just checking in on you to see how your journey is going emoticon
    3206 days ago
    The cats keep me busy....I clean the litter box 4 sometimes 5 times a day....could you tell me why Robert wakes me up a 2 a.m screaming like his a$$ is on fire...Savanna's don't meow...they scream bloody Hell...he gets up in my face and screams and does that thing they do with their paws...on my chin. I wake up and I check his litter box, I make sure the toilet lid is down, I make sure the water is running in the bath tub....he loves water, I check his food, I check on Baby...the other cat, check to make sure the house isn't on fire...nothing, nada....nope...could this be a game with him? I swear he sits there with this smirk on his face thinking...stupid human! Help... emoticon
    3211 days ago
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