Me at 214 pounds.

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I'm 26, in lousy shape, and sick of my weight quite literally holding me back. Every day I aim to blog about the things I've done RIGHT during the day, as I'm sick of my own constant negativity and self-abuse.

***Roll the Dice, by Charles Bukowski***

if you’re going to try, go all the
otherwise, don’t even start.

if you’re going to try, go all the
way. this could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and
maybe your mind.

go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or
4 days.
it could mean freezing on a
park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your
endurance, of
how much you really want to
do it.
and you’ll do it
despite rejection and the
worst odds
and it will be better than
anything else
you can imagine.

if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
there is no other feeling like
you will be alone with the
and the nights will flame with

do it, do it, do it.
do it.

all the way
all the way.
you will ride life straight to
perfect laughter,
it’s the only good fight
there is.

Member Since: 10/13/2009

Fitness Minutes: 2,568

My Goals:
-Lose 84 pounds by August 2010
-Run in a 5K on December 31st, 2009
-Next major goal weight: 185 pounds. This will put me in the "overweight" range for BMI rather than the "obese" range.

My Program:
I'm running 4 times a week and doing Pilates on the off days. I'm sticking to my alloted calories and eating more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. And I'm being POSITIVE!

Personal Information:
I'm from State College, PA, and currently work as a tailor. In my spare time I like to design clothes for plus size women, and hope to have an online shop running soon.

I also suffer from depression, and have since I was a teenager. Right now I'm in a pretty good cycle, and hope to keep it that way through good diet and exercise.

Other Information:

Read More About LOUISATHELAST - Profile Information moved here. (Updated November 28)

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    Louisa - I'm living in State College too and was wondering if you have any tips about good running places? I've looked on mapmyrun but I thought if I could get some real input from a real person that would be even better! Right now, I'm "training" for a 5k in April, the ArtsFest 10k in July and a half marathon (signed up as a walker!) in October.
    2998 days ago
  • v LETELE
    Let me first say that I am a terrible person to give you dating advice because I am like the loseriest loser when it comes to dating, BUT....I say just go for it. There is a 50/50 chance that he will like you, and vice versa. If it doesn't work, c'est la vie. You'll go back to being rad and he'll go back to being a nerdy vice principal. :)

    It is always terrifying putting yourself out there (the fear of rejection runs strong in me) but really, what's the absolute worst that could happen? All the things you think you have going against you will only sound bad to him if you make them sound that way. Frame everything positively (like, "I'm so grateful to be able to spend more time with my parents while I figure out the next phase in my life" instead of "I live with my parents and I work part time and I'm having a midlife crisis about twenty years too soon" even if that's how you feel.)

    I think you should just tell the matchmaker that you are interested in meeting him, in a casual, non-date kind of way. Something short that is easy to get out of if it's not going well. Like meet for coffee at 2 but say you have to be somewhere at 4, so it can't go too long. Leave him wanting more, haha! ;)

    I'll make you a deal. If you go out on a date with him, I will go out on a date with a total stranger from a dating website. At least your guy has been vetted, mine could be a crazy whackadoodle. Whadya think? (And you'd better answer soon before I totally chicken out!)
    3000 days ago
  • v LETELE
    I know what you mean. Mainly, I was just bored at work yesterday so my friend and I started looking at guys on there...but you have to register to look at anybody's profile, so...

    I haven't actually made a profile and I'm not sure if I should bother. I've been applying for jobs out of state, and although I'm definitely stuck here till May, I would love to get out of Jacksonville ASAP. So I'm reluctant to even think about meeting anybody because I don't want anything to tie me down. On the other hand, I haven't really dated anyone in like 5 years and I am in a lonely phase right now. And I've been feeling cute and confident this month since I'm finally losing weight again. Argh.

    I also worry about having to actually go on dates with people - what if they see me and think "she's fatter than she looks in her pictures" or something. Stupid thing to think about, but I can't help it. And, pretty much everyone around here is conservative. Somehow I don't think that would work out too well. See, here I go talking myself out of something before I've even tried it! ;)
    3002 days ago
  • v LETELE
    You are absolutely right - we can do this again! Just have to start making it a priority once more - easier said than done, but I do feel better already just for having eaten healthier so far today!
    3012 days ago
  • v LETELE
    Yes, I know, we're weenies in Florida, but at least up north you guys have appropriate winter clothing. Here, not so much. I had to buy a couple new sweaters about a week ago, and the stores here are already stocking swimsuits and shorts. The time to buy winter clothes in Florida is in October, you know, when it's 85 degrees. :)

    Also, this terrible cold finally killed off my tomato plants. I was bummed, but my herbs, lettuces, broccoli and strawberries are all still kickin'. Thank goodness I have my own strawberry plants, because there's going to be a shortage in the stores, which really sucks because this season's berries were DIVINE. Stupid arctic air!
    3019 days ago
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