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I am a 63 year old retired academic. I retired early to care for my mother. She passed away in February 2016 and I still miss her.

My weight loss journey began when I went to college (1976) and gained 7 pounds by the time I graduated. I went from weighing 99 lbs to 107 and I was desparate to lose the weight and started the diet soda and ice cream diet. No weight loss there.

I started working and gained another 5 pounds and began the hot dog and saur kraut diet. Yum! No weight loss there either.

My whole life, I have have been on one diet or another until I hit a steady weight of 121. I continued to think I was obese at that weight. I use that term specifically, because I did think I was obese

You may have noticed that I suffered from body dysmorphia. I never saw myself as anything but fat. I never looked in a full length mirror or bought clothes that fit. They were always 2 sizes too big.

Then in 2001, I had a kidney transplant and started gaining 8-10 pounds a year. I dabbled at weight loss, but oddly, I did not see myself as anymore over weight than I did when I was 121 lbs...until I hit 208. Again, I did not see myself as overweight, but I understood that 208 was beyond the norm. I did my BMI and discovered I was truly obese. Was I shocked? Sort of, but not really. Being obese fit in with my body dysmorphia. I always saw myself as obese so this just confirmed it.

About a year before my mom passed away, I realized that when she was gone, I would be a sad overweight recluse who watched too much t.v. I joined Spark with the idea of losing weight so that when she was gone, I might be sad and lonely but not overweight.

I had joined a year earlier, but stress made me quit. I needed my unlimited doughnuts and cake to deal with my mother's illness. It was an on-again off-again relationship with Spark for the year after she died, but I made friends and they were so encouraging. The social part of Spark is what has kept me going. I don't feel as lonely as I thought I would and I have lost weight.

That is my story....for now.

Member Since: 2/22/2016

Fitness Minutes: 12,144

My Goals:
My reasons why:
(1) To be done with having my life focus almost solely on weight loss
(2) To be ready for anything. So if someone calls and says let's go to Chicago this weekend, I don't have to worry about will I be fit enough to walk 5 miles around the city.
(3) Hopefully to be in less pain.

My Program:
Eat healthy and exercise.

Personal Information:

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    You have good taste! I am obsessed with pumpkin seeds/ "pepitas!" I think they totally make salads better and I enjoy their odd taste totally plain-no salt or oil. So healthy too and filling!
    1 day ago
    I really appreciate your kind words on my blog. YES, I sabotage as soon as I start setting weight goals. My goal needs to be just to make the best possible choices each day...come what may! Every time I missed a weight goal I felt so bad about myself and would throw in the towel. I would still eat healthy and exercise, but I would stop keeping track of what I ate and making sure I got varied exercise.
    2 days ago
    Hope the big day went well! Have a wonderful week!

    From: "Fiona" (giggles) emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/15/2018 5:23:06 PM
  • v RONDAJO56
    Only 2 days left of the LoL Challenge 7/8 Fitness Feats!
    U are doing emoticon
    emoticon For joining me!!
    Hope to see you on our new LoL Challenge July 15- Aug 11 starts Sunday!! emoticon
    Fitness 10+ minutes for 28 days! emoticon
    5 days ago
    Yeah, I can't even blame my kids too much because I have all sorts of neurotic thoughts about symptoms when I am stressed or when anyone I care about it dealing with serious health issues. I thought I hid my neurosis from them. Either I'm not or being a hypochondriac is genetic! I think it doesn't help that these screeners may be made by drug companies or something. Some of the questions surprised me. The doctor doesn't care if you answer yes to a few, but both of them took these questions so seriously and needed the doctor to know about any 2 second ache they have ever had.
    5 days ago
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