Me June 08 weight 245 lbs

All of us in Colorado June 08

my 3 beautiful children





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Welcome to my page...I am a Wife, Mother, and CNA who has gone back to work about 2 yrs ago after being a stay at home mom for a few years. I have gained and lost and regained the same weight over and over again. My heighest all time weight was 300 lbs. My lowest recent weight was about 3 yrs ago and I got down to 217 lbs, it seems it only lasted a minute and I was back at my old habits and gained it all back and I am now at 263 lbs!! I truly would love to get down to 200 lbs for now. But I want to do it in a healthy and natural way, where my kids learn good eating and activity habits from me and not to use food as a best friend whom I go to when I am happy, sad, confused, annoyed, etc....etc......but to use it to fuel my body. I am a procrastinator when it comes to me Mrs. Excuse!! I can find an excuse to not exercise and I have done that for a long time. I feel like a failure at times as I can't seem to commit to anything for long term. I begin to question my ability to commit, what in the world am I so afraid of? Failing? Rejection? YEP...all of the above. I think my friends and family get tired of hearing me say..."I started this new diet and......" or..." I am going to work out EVERYDAY". I get discouragd when Life gets in the way of my plan of attack. I can plan like a pro.....but if something comes up...(kids get sick, car breaks down, work schedule interferes...etcc...) I totally freak out and my eating and exercising are the first things that suffer. I throw myself into what needs to be done...or what I "think" needs to be done 100% and I leave myself with 0% attention for myself. Then I am cranky and less tolerant with the ones who love me, my wonderful family. I take it out on them, when in fact it is all my fault and I should be mad at just ME!
This is why I have re-committed to taking care of myself. The old saying is true, "If momma ain't happy, then nobody is happy"!! I live this everyday and I am tired of not being happy. Nobody can do this for me, I must do it on my own.....that in itself is very scary and very lonely to me. I want support, I want help, I want encouragement.....but I can't rely on someone else giving it to me.....I must learn to Support, Encourage, Help and depend on myself and my own ability to take care of myself. So here is August 31st, 2008 and I am revamping my life one baby step at a time.

GOAL #1 is to write down on an index card my goals that I have posted here so I can look at them all the time.

GOAL #2 is to become happy with exercise.....Right now I struggle each day to do it...but I want to make it a part of my day just like breathing and has to be a MUST have for me. I will post blogs daily on what I did and how it made me feel.

GOAL # 3 Have more fun, be less serious and enjoy spontaneous and not so worried about if their is dust on things......(I am a clean freak and I hate it sometimes).

So starting with a list of 3 things I want to acheive over the next few months is a new beginning for me, I won't be perfect and I can't expect myself to be perfect, but I must try my best to do my best everyday in every aspect of my life.

There it in a nutshell....I hope someday I can motivate someone to just start small, I hope I can someday call myself a success and Love Myself Again.

Member Since: 12/28/2007

Fitness Minutes: 1,215

My Goals:
My goal first and foremost is to Love myself again. To love the skin I am in. I will never be supermodel thin and beautiful but I can get healthy and teach my kids to be healthy people too.

My Program:
1. SIMPLIFY my life...use sparkpeople menu planning to help me plan and shop for easy, cost friendly meals for my entire family.
2. MOVE my body more.

3. POSITIVITY more letting negativity suck me into the mire of nothingness.

4. FUN....have more of it!

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Other Information:
I love to read, crochet, play cribbage & play with my kids.

Love to camp, fish & hike too. Enjoy spending time with family and friends and just having fun whenever possible.

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 current weight: 238.0 
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    I'm up for a challenge. If I walk in the evening I walk with my 13 year old daughter. If I walk in the morning I walk alone. Actually I walk with God. I use it for prayer time too.
    3607 days ago
    Thanks for the goodie. It is my first one. I understand the time problem. When I can't walk in the morning, I will try to slip one in before bed. I sleep better after a walk. If I was reliable enough I'd always walk at night but I get home so tired sometimes that it is everything for me to handle my crazy family life. Like today I took 7 trips around the block with the residents of the nursing home (I was pushing wheel chairs). When I got home I had to get dinner on, I had a meeting at 7:00 ond promised the kids I would go school shopping. I am going to bed. I counted my walk with the residents today even though it is what I do every Wednesday in the summer. I just couldn't bring myself to walk again tonight.
    3608 days ago
    Welcome to 40 somethings. Are you tall? I am 5'9" and the good thig is I can put on 20 lbs and no one really notices, the bad newas is I can lose 30 lbs and again no one notices. The important thing is YOU notice. You aren't losing weight for them, you are losing for you. I am in Therepeutic Recreation in a nursing home. I totally understand the not wanting to walk when you get home. I have started trying to alk in the morning before I go to work.
    3609 days ago
    Just checking in to say hi and see how your doing.
    Have a great weekend.
    3774 days ago
    Hi my friend. How are you doing? Did you have a good weekend? talk to you soon. xoxox janne
    3784 days ago
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