GMACAMI
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Cami with her granddaughters



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Growing and blooming into the new me


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Life happens- that is what I have learned since joining Sparkpeople almost 4 years ago. I lost weight rapidly back then and within a short time had lost 80 pounds towards my goal of around 150 pounds. Then life happened- I fell off my electric scooter (similar to a Segway scooter) and broke my left arm and right thumb. That incapacitated me for about 9 months and as the old story goes, I gained almost all of my weight back.

Round two: I started losing weight again and then life happened- my fourteen year old granddaughter died in a swimming accident (she had an epileptic seizure while swimming with me and several other of my granddaughters) and the resultant guilt and depression packed back on more of the weight that I had just lost.
As a nurse, I felt like I should have been able to save her and yet, she died. And to hide the shame and guilt and sorrow I ate. It took me a year to get out from under the depression left from her death. People told me I should take antidepressants, I refused because I knew I had to deal with my emotions on my own terms and without chemicals getting in the way.

Round three: January 2011 I decided enough was enough and it was time to get serious and get back on program and get my weight off and then life happened again. My 85 year old mom went in the hospital with a low hemoglobin and the docs discovered cancer of the colon so I closed up my house and moved across town for what I anticipated to be a "short" time to take care of my 94 year old dad while mom was in the hospital and her short recuperation period. Within a week's time, my mom had two major surgeries due to complications, 14 units of blood, was intubated in the ICU and we were taking it day by day as to whether she was going to make it out of the hospital. Then mom had a stoke to complicate everything else. Mom finally did make it out of the hospital and to a rehab hospital by the beginning of February- in the rehab hospital she came down with an intestional bacterial infection that gave her severe diarrhea- so I finally brought my mom home at the end of February even though she could barely walk as she was to a point where they were not helping her anymore. In addition to working, cooking and cleaning for my dad and mom, and still running home to my house on a daily basis to take care of my animals, I now was physical therapist/ personal care giver/ med dispenser for mom. I hired a caregiver to come in on the days that I worked but other than that, I was running 24/7 from Jan 8th until the end of May when mom finally decided that she was capable of doing things on her own again. (Now I just go over there on Saturdays to check on them and fill mom's pill containers.)

Round four: So now you are thinking that since I came back to my own home in May that I could have started back on program then... wrong. Life happened... again. My dad, bless his little pea picking heart, is very stubborn- nothing against the Germans but he is a Hard headed German. Daddy started falling down and complaining of dizziness. I reported to his doc and a carotid study was ordered and daddy had a 90 % blockage on the right and 60 % blockage on the left. Perhaps climbing ladders and pruning trees is not a good idea any more- "they are my ladders and I'll climb them if I want to !!" So we hired a yard man to climb the ladders and do the pruning and I looked out the window to see Willie and my dad up on ladders- my dad wanted to be up there to tell Willie how he wanted things done- so much for planning. The morning of daddy's surgery, his blood sugar was 485 (normal is 60-120). The docs are trying to tell my dad he is diabetic- "no, 40 years ago they told me I was borderline and I still am... I just run on high octane." Needless to say, it has been an uphill battle to get him to learn about diabetes. Anytime I say the word, I think he turns off his hearing aide- if you don't talk about it, it isn't so. He refuses to go to diabetic teaching, diabetic dietary counseling, do his own blood testing- he has reluctantly agreed to take his pills. He lets me take his blood sugar readings once a week when I go over there to fill mom's pill containers but I am never there at the same time each Saturday so there is no consistency to his readings - his blood sugars now are in the 90-120 range however and the doc adjusted his meds last week.

Round five: OK so I was going to start in the beginning of October when things were going smooth- life happened. I got my yearly round of bronchopneumonia. That killed almost all of October and November. So what do you do when you can't breathe or exercise... sit in front of the television and eat. With the prednisone and antibiotics, I was just 13 pounds shy of what I was when I started Sparkpeople 4 years ago... definitely time to get a new outlook on things. God willing and the creek don't rise... I am starting December 1, 2011 (not waiting until the New Year in case something happens again) so look out Spark...here I come !!!!!!


written when I first started Sparkpeople (with a few updates):
I am a 60 year old grandma from Modesto, CA... surgical nurse who enjoys all 5 granddaughters aged 13 to 2 (and one special angel) ... hobbies include knitting and cross stitching and audiobooks... 5 foot 2, eyes of blue... born and raised in California and other than vacations, have never left the state. I am following the weight watcher's core program for weight loss but using sparkpeople for motivation since there is not much during the week contact with other Weight Watchers and I need more motivation than what the Weight Watchers program offers.


Member Since: 1/11/2008

Fitness Minutes: 88,180

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My Program:
I rejoined Weight Watchers February 16, 2008 and am following the core plan.



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Other Information:
My favorite quote: "Justification and rationalization are only mental masturbations- in the end, you only screw yourself."




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Comments
  • v MISSPEACHES3
    Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my today's blog.
    I will go back an add to my blog . No exercise from my Doctor...I have a lot of body ouchies right now.
    Thanks again.
    1 day ago
  • v ONEVOICE128
    emoticon
    7 days ago
  • v HMBROWN1
    Glad that you are feeling better! Hope that you have a great week - Heather
    7 days ago
  • v OUTDOORGIRL74
    Good to see you are back. Hope all is well with you.
    11 days ago
  • v SABLENESS
    Thanks for the good advice on my Ducks not lining up blog. I was hoping to hear from a nurse or two. I‘ve done as you suggested; took the earliest appointment on January 31 and begged them to put me on their cancellation list. The office staff were kind, and I hope to hear from them. I also insisted that the referring doctor from urgent care fax in an urgent scrip to a large group practice which I learned does reserve priority urgent spots. I should be hearing from them today as to how soon I could be seen. The pain has gotten worse over the last couple weeks, and ER is my last choice option. I see my primary tomorrow. Maybe she can at least give me something for pain.
    14 days ago
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